Jack and Sally
by GrittyRe-boot
Summary: "I know she's happy, or she says that she's happy anyway, and I want to believe her, but sometimes I can't help but think things would have been better for her if she never would have fallen in love with me in the first place." Futurefic, More inside
1. Black Suit

**Here's a little sneak preview for you guys, I suppose it's a takeoff of The Family Man (in reverse) with a bit of it's a wonderful life thrown in, minus the Christmas references. I won't continue this story until I'm done with Holly Golightly, and I know I haven't been updating as frequently as I would like to on either of my stories, but I'll try to make it quick.**

"Jack! Sally! Stop running in the house darlings! Mommy's trying to run lines, she has a very big audition tomorrow," Rachel cries.

"But mommy, Jack is trying to push me into the lava." Sally replies.

"Jack, do you mean to tell me that you have used your godlike powers to transform my floor into lava yet again? That's the thid time this week." Rachel says dramatically. "And I just bought these shoes."

"There's no lava over here," Jack says as if it should be common knowledge. "It's in the living room and I'm going to push her in."

"Help me Daddy," Sally shrieks, running up to Finn and wrapping her thin arms around his legs.

"Nobody is going to push my little girl into the lava," Finn says, sweeping the five year old into his arms and blowing a raspberry on her cheek, making her squeal.

"Finn, we need to focus," Rachel says gently. "Jack, honey, why don't you take a break from your supervillainy and go watch The Little Mermaid with your sister?"

"That's a girl's movie!" Jack protests.

"Aladdin then," Rachel shoots back, "Scoot," she continues, giving Jack a playful slap on the behind with her script while Finn sets Sally back down to join her twin brother.

"Okay, where were we?" Rachel says, flipping back to her position in the script as the children leave the room. "Ah yes,_ I'll Never Fall in Love Again_, from the top."

"I don't get why you need to sing it again, you already nailed it," Finn argues.

"I know honey but you were just a little bit flat on that last note," Rachel, says, always the honest one.

"I'm not the one auditioning," Finn sighs.

"A singer is only as good as her duet partner. You've always had the most beautiful voice Finn, I know you have it in you, now once more with feeeeling," she insists dramatically. And all Finn can do is smile and shake his head as he begins to sing.

_What do you get when you fall in love? A girl with a pin to burst your bubble That's what you get for all your trouble I'll never fall in love again, I'll never fall in love again_

As they sing together like so many times before, Finn grabs the script away from Rachel and sets it down next to his own and he places one hand on her waist and takes her hand in his other one, gently swaying her as they harmonize together. She tries to keep her voice strong as they dance together, but it's hard to stave off the urge to giggle as he holds her like that.

_What do you get when you kiss a girl? You get enough germs to catch pneumonia After you do, she'll never phone ya. I 'll never fall in love again. Dontcha know that I'll never fall in love again? Don't tell me what it's all about, 'cause I've been there and I'm glad I'm out, Out of those chains, those chains that bind you, That is why I'm here to remind you_

_What do you get when you fall in love? You only get lies and pain and sorrow, So for at least until tomorrow, I'll never fall in love again No, no, I'll never fall in love again_

At the last note he leans in, pressing his lips to hers and holding her closer while she runs her fingers through his hair and kisses him back deeply, but much like the time they performed their first nationals and he kissed her in the middle of the stage, they have to remember where they are at some point, and that is made quickly apparent by the sound of little hands clapping for them. So much for _Aladdin._

"Yay!" Sally exclaims happily as she claps, "Do it again."

"Yeah, sing it again!" Jack agrees. "But no kissing, that's gross."

At that Rachel buries her face in Finn's chest, grinning and blushing with embarrassment.

"What do you say mommy?" Finn says confidently as Rachel turns her head, laying her cheek against him and smiling at her two five year olds. "Once more from the top?"

* * *

><p>It's bedtime and even though the twins resist, Finn and Rachel both know that they'll conk out as soon as their heads hit the pillows with all of their horsing around today.<p>

"I'm not sleepy dad," Jack complains as Finn carries him piggy back to his room. "I want to watch Kill Bill."

"Finn!" Rachel protests as she carries Sally in her arms. "You let Jack watch Kill Bill?" And Finn only goes red in embarrassment.

"He let me watch it too mommy," Sally says, her little arms wrapped around Rachel's neck and she simply shakes her head at him.

"I told you not to let them watch that stuff Finn, it'll give them nightmares," Rachel argues.

"I made them close their eyes during the bloody parts, " Finn explains. "But don't worry, I won't do it again since these two can't keep a secret," he says reaching over to tickle Sally and make her giggle.

"Don't feel bad dad, she let us watch Sweeney Todd," Jack says.

"You did, did you?" Finn says, narrowing his eyes at Rachel slyly.

"That is completely different," Rachel says coolly.

"How?" Finn argues.

"It's Sondheim," she replies.

They enter the kids room and put them into their respective beds.

"Mommy, if you get to be in the show will I get to have my own room?" Sally says, pronouncing her Rs like Ws as Rachel tucks her in.

"But I thought you loved being roomies with Jack," Rachel says. "What about your psychic twin connection?"

"It still works when we're in different rooms," Sally says as if that should be obvious, she really is so much like her brother.

"Yeah and If I have my own room I can have superhero wallpaper, Sally hates superheroes," Jack says pronouncing his Rs like his sister.

"I do not, but you only like the boy ones, I like Wonder woman." Sally says.

"Wonder woman is stupid, her weapon is a rope," Jack says, rolling his eyes.

"So? She can fly, Batman can't fly," Sally argues.

"Batman doesn't need to fly, he has the bat mobile, and he has the Joker, Wonder Woman doesn't have anyone cool to fight." Jack shoots back.

"She has Cheetah."

"Cheetah sucks."

"Listen buddy," Finn says, stopping the argument in its tracks. "When your mom gets this part then we'll talk about getting a bigger apartment okay?" Finn says.

"Okay Pumpkins, mommy loves you both so much," Rachel says bending down to kiss Sally on the forehead, her and Finn switch places so they can say goodnight to both twins.

"Daddy, before you go to sleep can you sing us a song?" Sally says. "Like from Aladdin?"

"Yeah, sing Aladdin!" Jack agrees.

"Okay but do you guys promise to go to sleep when were done?" Rachel says.

"I promise," Sally says.

"Yeah, we promise." Jack concurs.

By the time they finish singing _A Whole New World_ the kids are fast asleep.

After putting Jack and Sally to bed, never an easy feat, they drag themselves to their room, collapsing onto their big cushy bed, Finn in his boxers and wife beater, Rachel in the oversized defying gravity T-shirt she bought for Finn their first month in New York after they went to see _Wicked_. He's always thought she looked adorable in it. There was a time when she would take two solid hours getting ready for bed, now she was lucky if she got to brush her teeth and wash her face at the end of the night. It was just as well, Rachel was always beautiful, there was no need for all of that effort, besides, less time spent primping meant more time for sex, and if he had to choose he'd choose the sex every time.

"Do you wanna fool around tonight?" Rachel says, her eyes closed, her voice tired.

"Babe you're exhausted, just get some sleep, you have your audition tomorrow," Finn says, even though it is pretty painful saying the right thing in that situation.

"Okay," Rachel says sleepily. "I'll wake you up at six AM, we can sneak one in before you go to work."

"God I love you," he says, leaning in to kiss his wife's immobile lips.

"I love you too, now let me sleep, Fran Kubelik needs her beauty rest," Rachel says and he pulls the covers over the both of them and turns on the TV

_Today TMZ caught up Quinn Fabray outside Whole Foods, the Model slash actress was in LA promoting her newest film-_

Finn switches the channel immediately, he knows that it must still sting hearing about Quinn's success in the business, the success that continues to elude Rachel after years of countless auditions, dinner theatre, off off off Broadway shows, understudying for more popular and far less talented actresses, chorus line work, stints as townperson number two and overall disappointment.

"Why do you do that every time they talk about Quinn?" Rachel says, still half asleep.

"You know I hate that show," Finn says defensively.

"Of course, I'm sure Lifetime's _Elicit Betrayal _starring Angie Harmon will be a much more entertaining option for you," Rachel quips, Finn face goes red as he switches it from Lifetime to Adult Swim. "How many times do I have to tell you, I'm happy for Quinn?"

"I know babe," he says not entirely sure if he believes her. "I know."

* * *

><p>"Okay, I want you to have chapters five and six read by tomorrow," Finn says as the bell rings and his students pile out of his musical theory class. Finn loves his job, there's nothing else on the planet he could see himself doing, considering his reputation in high school was biggest idiot on the planet the fact that he gets paid to impart wisdom to high schoolers still blows his mind a little, but the best part of his job is by far codirecting the glee club. LaGuardia High School of the Performing Arts has the best show choir in the nation and helping lead it to victory (with the help of a dance coach, naturally) last year gave him a sense of fulfillment that he's never known before, even if it did mean beating his old Alma Mater McKinley high. He just wishes that Rachel could have the same satisfaction out of her job. Knowing how much she's sacrificed over the years to have a family fills him with a sinking sense of guilt every so often, even though he knows she loves them all more than anything. She deserved to have it all though, and he knew deep down that she still wanted it all, she still dreamed about seeing her name in big bold lights and her face on Broadway posters, and at nearly thirty years old the possibility was becoming more and more out of reach. She always swears to him that she wouldn't trade their life together for anything, but she always was such a good actress, it's just hard not to let his mind go to that place sometimes.<p>

"Hey Mr. Hudson," Dennis, one of his students says as he meets him by the whiteboard. "Do I really have to sing a duet with Nanette Harding in glee?"

"Come on Dennis, not this again, you guys sound great together," Finn insists.

"But she's so weird," Dennis says. "She dresses like an undertaker and she's always staring at me with this intense look in her eyes while she's singing, it freaks me out." Finn knows Nanette well, she wears all black and writes freaky song lyrics about death and sex and … well, Dennis. She's also gorgeous, talented, and oddly sweet, which is probably just as frightening for a teenaged boy.

"Yeah, I remember the weird girl in my class, her name was Rachel Berry, she was always wearing these animal sweaters and knee high socks and she talked constantly, I mean nonstop. She had a crush on me too, a big one."

"What did you do about it?" Dennis says.

"I married her," Finn replies. "See you tomorrow Dennis."

He heads home early that day, it's a half day and there's no glee club on Mondays so he'll pick the kids up and wait for Rachel to come home from her audition, it will be a nice surprise for her. She didn't call him, so she's probably not finished reading for the part yet. The kids will be done with school at three so he has some time to kill at home before he gets them from school.

He's surprised to see Rachel's purse on the counter when he lets himself in, he knows she would have called him to say how the audition went if she were done already, she always calls him after an audition. Maybe he missed her call.

"Rach, babe, you home?" he says as he tosses his keys on the counter and heads to their bedroom, the door is closed and he can hear sniffling on the other side of the door.

"Rachel, are you okay?"

"Finn, what are you doing back?" she says from behind the door.

"There's a faculty meeting, we had a half day," he explains, his voice concerned. "Rachel, is everything okay?"

"I don't really want to talk about it right now Finn," she says, still crying.

"Was it the audition?" he persists.

"I said I didn't want to talk about it," she says, a little more firmly.

"Look, you don't have to talk to me okay, but I'm coming in," He twists the knob and pushes the door open carefully, poking his head in, and the sight of his wife at that moment makes his heart sink, her face is blotchy and her eyes are bloodshot, as if she's been crying for hours.

"Finn can you please just go do something else?" she says. "I don't want you to see me like this."

"Oh baby it's okay," he says, climbing onto the bed with her, taking her tiny, shaking body into his arms. She wipes her tears and lets him hold her. "Just tell me what happened.

"I wasn't up there for thirty seconds, I didn't even get to the second verse before the director gave me a 'thank you, we'll call you,'" she sobs. "And I had such a good feeling about this one, I was perfect for that role Finn."

"You are perfect," he says rubbing her back and kissing her forehead. "Look maybe it's not as bad as you think, maybe you were so good that thirty seconds was all he needed."

"Don't patronize me," she says, breaking out of his embrace. "I know what 'thank you, we'll call you' means, I've been hearing it nonstop for ten goddamn years and I'm so sick of it. I'm sick of maybe next time, I'm sick of hoping that one day I'll have my big break. 28 year old mothers don't get big breaks Finn, that's just the way it is. The Quinn Fabrays of the world will always win. Lets just face it, it's over for me."

"That's not true Rachel, it can still happen for yo-

"Don't be so naïve," she snaps, cutting him off, and he realizes that she's upset, because why shouldn't she be? "I had my chance five years ago and I screwed it up, there was no bouncing back from that."

His brow knits in confusion and he knows she doesn't mean what he thinks she means, because she couldn't mean that. "Wait a minute, are you actually saying you regret having the twins?"

And her face goes from angry to guilty. "No, that's not… I didn't mean it that way."

"Then how did you mean it?" Finn says.

"I don't know, I don't know what I mean," she cries. "I love them both, I do, and I love you so so much but sometimes I just wonder you know, whether we should have waited. I mean if I would have been able to take that part we could have had this completely different, better life, all of us."

"We have a great life Rachel," he protests "Or at least that's what you've always said, have you just been humoring me all these years?"

"No Finn, you're twisting my words," she says desperately, reaching for him.

"Is this what you do after every bad audition Rachel?" he says, dodging her hand. "You come home and cry your eyes out over what a disappointment your life is?"

"Finn stop," she says. But he can't and he knows that she isn't the one he's really mad at, as always he's mad at himself, and he's not even sure why anymore. Maybe it's because she's confirming everything he's feared since the day they exchanged vows, that maybe she wouldn't become the star she always dreamed of being and that she'd end up resenting him because of it. Maybe she had a reason to.

"Whatever, I'm going to go pick up the twins," he says getting up from the bed.

"Finn it's one thirty," she reminds him.

"I'll wait," he insists, marching out of their bedroom.

"Finn please don't leave like this," she says, crying after him. But he's out the door too fast to hear the words.

He waits outside the school, not wanting to go back home, not after the things they said to each other. Part of him wishes he wouldn't have lashed out at her like that, but he couldn't help it, he knew it was bound to come up eventually.

"Do you got a light?" he turns to the man that has just appeared beside him, he's older, with thick rimmed glasses and a hard, angular face and he's dressed in a snappy black business suit, he must just be getting off of work or on his break or something. There is a cigarette placed between his lips and he's leaning in in expectation.

"Sorry," Finn says, "I don't smoke."

"Hmm, just as well," Black suit says, removing the cigarette from his mouth and tucking it behind his ear. "I really should quit."

"So, you're here super early too?" Finn says.

"How do you mean?" Black suit replies.

"You know," Finn says. "Waiting for your kid."

"Oh, of course," he says coolly. "Little Johnny."

"Yeah," Finn says, narrowing his eyes a bit at this odd stranger. "Anyway I'm just blowing off some steam," Finn says, not entirely sure why, this man doesn't exactly look trustworthy, but he needs someone to talk to, and he's the only one here. "I had a fight with my wife."

"Oh yeah," Black suit says, seeming interested enough.

"She had a bad audition and I found her at home crying about it," Finn says. "Like crying really hard and… I'm sorry I shouldn't be telling you any of this."

"It's alright," Black suit says. "A story's just a thought until you tell it."

Finn thinks Black suit means to keep going, so he does. "She's this really amazing singer, like better than anyone on the radio, and her dream has always been to sing on Broadway, and I always thought it would happen for her you know?" Finn explains, the words flowing out of him like lava. "But it's like nothing in her life is going according to plan, and I just can't help but think it's somehow my fault. All I've ever done was support her, but on the inside I've always felt like I was holding her back. I never meant to, but my dreams have always been so much simpler, all I wanted was her and our life together and our kids and I have all of that. It's like my dreams came true and hers are just crumbling little by little."

"A dream deferred isn't the most uncommon thing in the world, in fact it's probably the most common." Black Suit says. "What drives you to blame yourself."

"Because, almost six years ago she got one of the lead roles in _Rent_, her dream role. But she couldn't take it."

"Why?"

"She got pregnant," Finn explains. "She got pregnant and she had to turn down the role, and I know she did it for me, to make me happy, because I was so excited when I found out, like the most excited I've ever been about anything."

"What makes you think she did it for you, that seems awfully narcissistic, maybe she wanted to be a mother."

"Yeah, after she got famous," Finn says. "And we were really careful too, but sometimes fate just steps in and all of your plans just go to hell, fate or me in this case. I was always the one thing that could break her focus, that could make her forget for even a second what she was put on this earth for, and I know she's happy, or she says that she's happy anyway, and I want to believe her, but sometimes I can't help but think things would have been better for her if she never would have fallen in love with me in the first place."

"Do you really believe that Finn?" Black suit says seriously.

"I can't help it sometimes… wait, did I tell you my name?"

Black suit doesn't answer he simply smirks at him as he pulls out some sort of club, and Finn wonders where he pulled it from but before he can ask Black Suit has cracked him on the side of the head with it, hard, sending him to the ground.

"What the…" Finn starts, his voice weak as black suit leans over him, smiling.

"Sleep well young man," Black Suit says, his voice faraway. "Maybe when you wake up things will be a little bit clearer."

His head hurts, in fact it's the worst headache he's ever had, but he tries to pry his eyes open, maybe if he can flag down a cop they can catch up with Black Suit in time to throw his ass in jail. He just prays to god that his kids don't have to see him splayed out on the cold concrete, probably bleeding. Wait, why does the cold concrete feel so soft and warm? Why does it smell like tide, and why does the school bell sound like an alarm clock.

"Wake up Finn, time to get ready for work," he recognizes that voice, it's one he hasn't heard outside of a movie theater in years. He must have heard it wrong, or maybe he's dreaming. "Finn, come on give me a break today, waking Beth up is going to be hard enough."

Beth, who the hell is Beth? The only Beth he knows is…

"Finn!" He's being shaken now, vigorously by strong, small hands until finally he manages to open his eyes, only to see Quinn Fabray staring down at him.

"Quinn?" Finn says frantically, shooting up in bed, "What the hell are you doing here?"

She looks confused. "I knew it, you were out drinking again last night weren't you?" Quinn says, disappointedly.

"I'm serious Quinn what are you doing here?"

Her face is hard to read, it's a combination of confusion and deep annoyance. "Well," she starts, her tone sarcastic. "The last time I checked I was your wife."

**Stay Tuned Folks!**


	2. The Singer?

**I hate to do this to you guys, but I recommend that before you get started here, you reread the last chapter, part of a scene accidentally got cut out when I posted it and I didn't realize until a couple of days ago. It's not hugely important to the plot but it does show a little more of the Berry-Hudson family dynamic before Finn gets launched into this alternate reality. Anyway, at least the wait on this probably wasn't as long as you expected.**

"What the hell are you talking about?" Finn says, panicked, almost hyperventilating. Is he dreaming? He must be, did he fall into a coma after Black Suit clubbed him in the head and end up in some insane nightmare in which someone other than Rachel Berry was his wife?

"Finn what is wrong with you?" Quinn says, annoyed.

"You're not my wife," he says, scrambling out of bed frantically. If this is a dream it sure as hell is a vivid one, or maybe it's one of those hidden camera shows. But why the hell would Quinn Fabray, America's sweetheart, be interested in Punking him? Shouldn't she be the one being Punk'd? And if it was a hidden camera show they sure went through a lot of trouble, knocking him out (was that even legal?), putting him in a bedroom with Quinn and all of these really well-photoshopped pictures of them together, with a blonde child he doesn't recognize. It couldn't have been a hidden camera show, he must be dreaming.

"What do you mean I'm not your wife?" Quinn says confusedly. "Finn did something happen last night, did you hit your head and forget that we've been married for the last ten years?"

He thinks she's being sarcastic, but that must have been what happened, but then that would mean he really was married to Quinn, that his life with Rachel and their children was the dream all along, but that seemed even more unlikely. Rachel was his wife, that was real, it was the only real thing he knew.

"N-no," he stammers, still panicked. "This isn't right, you're not my wife, Rachel is my wife, where is she? What happened to her?"

"Rachel?" Quinn says, knitting her brow in confusion. "Who's Rachel?"

"Rachel," he says, raising his voice. "Rachel Berry Hudson, we all went to high school together, short, brown hair, you were friends back when she was just Rachel Berry."

"Okay, now I know you're insane," Quinn says, angrily. "You mean to tell me that Rachel Berry the singer is your wife?"

"Yes, you remember" Finn says, happy that she at least vaguely remembers who Rachel is. "Where is she? I have to talk to her."

"You know what Finn, this isn't funny anymore," Quinn says, losing patience. "I don't have the time or the patience for this right now, I have to wake up Beth and you have to get ready for work," she continues, cutting past him.

"Wait, your daughter Beth?"

"Our daughter!" she fumes spinning around to face him again. "She's our daughter Finn, or have you forgotten that too?"

"No, Beth is your daughter with Puck, _that _I know," Finn says, and by the look of shock on Quinn's face he absolutely was not supposed to know that.

"What did that bastard tell you?" Quinn seethes, under her breath.

"He didn't tell me," Finn says, even more confused than before. "It was Rachel, sophomore year, don't you remember?"

"You know what Finn. I know that we've been having problems lately but if this is your idea of trying to spite me, making up lies about having another wife and your twelve year old daughter not being yours, then you're just beyond low," she seems a bit scared now, defensive, but mostly just pissed.

"I'm not making this up, something very weird is happening to me Quinn, and I'm sorry but I can't do this with you right now, I have to find Rachel and figure this ou-

She cuts him off with a quick, effective slap to the face, and as he looks at her, shocked, holding his cheek, he notices the tears gathering in her eyes and the look of anger on her face, she's the angriest he's ever seen her, and that's saying a lot.

"You asshole," she says quietly. "Stop it! Just stop it, okay?"

"Quinn, I'm sorry," Finn says, trying to calm himself down, even though he's horrified on the inside because it's getting less and less likely that he's dreaming. If he was dreaming that slap sure as hell would have woken him up. As impossible as it seems, this has to be some sort of alternate reality, and if that's the case then Quinn clearly has no idea, and all he's doing is coming off like a crazy person. If he's going to figure this out then badgering Quinn isn't the way. "I know none of this is your fault," he continues.

"What isn't my fault Finn?" Quinn says, still angry, beyond angry. "The fact that you've clearly lost your mind?"

"Exactly," Finn says and he turns and runs out of there without another word, ignoring Quinn calling after him angrily.

He doesn't recognize this house. he doesn't recognize any of it, he's never been here before, but it definitely doesn't look like anywhere in New York City, but as he darts out the front door his memory begins to return, he doesn't recognize the house, but he remembers the street. He's in Lima, fucking Lima Ohio. He stands there on the lawn, tugging at his hair in frustration and trying to keep it together. He has to keep it together long enough to find his babies, to find Rachel, she'll know what to do, she always does. But first he needs to find a phone, and there's no way in hell he's going back in there. Instead he sprints, hard and fast, the gravel scraping his feet, he doesn't care, he doesn't care that he doesn't know which direction he's going in, just as long as he gets the hell away from there as quickly as possible. He'll go to his mom's, she's the only one in Lima he really talks to anymore, he hopes her and Burt are still even in the same house, he doesn't know just how much is different in this new universe.

Eventually he finds his mom's place, it's not too far from the home he now shares with Quinn for some reason. He bangs loudly on the door, not bothering to remember his manners, but once the door is answered for him his heart sinks immediately.

"Oh no," Finn says, wilting. "you're not my mom."

"I most certainly am not," the stranger standing in front of him says, she's an older woman in a housecoat with frizzy hair. "What in God's name are you doing banging on my door at seven in the morning young man?" She continues angrily. "and where are your clothes?"

"I'm sorry, but do you by any chance know a Carole Hudson-Hummel?"

"I know a Carole Hudson, we play bridge together, she lives on fifth."

"Crap," Finn says. "My old house."

"Watch your language!" the woman says, slamming the door in Finn's face, she may not have been the most agreeable woman but at least she was helpful. "And get off my porch!" she yells from inside

He obliges, running in the direction of his old house, where his mother apparently still lived, and if his mother still lived there, she must not be married to Burt in this universe. It's too bad, he liked Burt, but he has much bigger worries at hand right now, like where the hell his wife is.

He's there quickly, not taking the time to catch his breath as he knocks on the door. When his mom answers he can't resist the impulse to launch himself at her, wrapping her in a tight, desperate hug.

"Mom," he says, swaying the older woman back and forth. "God is it good to see you."

"Um, good to see you too honey, " Carole says confusedly. "But is there a reason you're here in your t-shirt and boxers instead of on your way to Burt's?"

"So you _do_ know Burt?" Finn says excitedly. And it's just then he notices her stylishly cropped blonde hair is back to the brown, curly mop he remembers from years past, and if she weren't wearing her robe and slippers right now she would probably be wearing head to toe denim.

"Your boss? Yeah I've met him a couple of times, he seems nice," she anwers, still a bit confused.

"Oh no, Burt's my boss," Finn says, dejected. This new reality kept getting worse and worse.

"Honey are you feeling alright?" Carole says, pressing her hand against his forehead.

"I'm fine," He lies. "I just need to use your phone."

"You came here just to use my phone?"

"Yeah, I just need to call Rachel," he explains.

"Who's Rachel?" Carole says, because of course she wouldn't know either, not in this screwed up reality.

"You know? Rachel Berry? We went to high school together," he thinks it's best not to mention the thing about her being his wife, that didn't go over too well the last time.

"Rachel Berry, the singer?" Carole says knitting her brow in confusion.

"Yeah, the singer," Finn says, and he wonders why people keep calling her_ the singer_, not his ex, not his old friend, but _the singer_. He tries not to dwell too much on it, since Rachel is in fact a singer, but it still seems strange to him.

"Finn is this some sort of practical joke because I have to say, it's a little too early in the morning," Carole says.

"Mom, I know it sounds weird but I just really need to talk to her."

"Honey, you did not go to high school with Rachel Berry," Carole says, chuckling in amusement. "Don't you think I would have known something about it if you had? I have all of her songs and I've seen all of her movies, I'm sure I would have made you introduce me at some point."

And then it dawns on him, Rachel Berry_ the singer_, she was a singer, and not just any singer, a famous one.

"Just hold on a second I have to get that," Carole says as her phone rings. As she answers it Finn tries to make sense of everything that has happened, he's married to Quinn, Carole's not married to Burt, and Rachel is famous, famous the way she's always dreamed of being, and suddenly it dawns on him.

"She never met me," Finn says under his breath.

"Finn, it's Quinn," Carole says, putting her hand over the receiver. "She sounds really upset, did you have another one of your fights?"

He can't deal with Quinn right now, he can't deal with any of this right now. Without taking the time to explain himself he darts through the door. He won't leave, at least not yet, because this is the only place that makes a little bit of sense, his mom is still his mom, she still loves him, but she's not married to Burt, who is his boss, and Quinn is his wife, not Rachel, Rachel probably doesn't even know who he is, she's too famous to know who he is. Rachel is famous, in this reality, the one where she never met him, all of her dreams of stardom have come true. All this time he really was the one that stomped all over her dreams. And his children… if he and Rachel never met than did that mean his children didn't exist?

"No," he says, overwhelmed, tears forming in his eyes, his children have to exist, he can't imagine a world without his Jack and his Sally, his little supervillain and his wonder girl. He falls to his knees as he pictures them, Jack with his big brown eyes, eyes like his mother, tall like his father, and skinny Sally with her sweet freckled face and disarming smile. No, they have to exist, maybe Rachel had them with someone else, it could happen right? But even if the idea of her having children with anyone him besides him didn't make him want to die a little inside he knew enough about genetics to realize that if she did, they wouldn't be the same kids. His children were gone, and he couldn't allow that, not even if Rachel got to be famous in this new universe, he knows Rachel, he knows that she wouldn't give them up for anything. He has to find her, he has to make her understand somehow, he has to get them back, they have to get them back together.

"Finn Hudson," He looks up at the sound of the voice, and his eyes narrow at the sight of him, in confusion, anger, other emotions he can't place.

"What do you want?" Finn says to Black Suit Man. "What do you want from me?"

Black suit man simply chuckles and raises a lit cigarette to his lips.

"So," Black Suit starts, blowing out a puff of smoke. "Have you figured it out yet?"

**Stay Tuned Folks!**


	3. Drizzle

**AN: It's a nice, lazy Sunday, I'm off work and I'm just pretty damned excited about this story, so here's a new update already, not sure if all of them will be cranked out this fast but I'll try my best. I also think I should warn you now, in spite of the T rating this story is going to go in a few pretty dark directions, not so much that I'll end up needing to change the rating (or at least I don't think I will), still, proceed with caution.**

He tries to calm down long enough to speak, he wants to attack this man, wrestle him to the ground and strangle the truth out of him, he knows that he knows something about why he's here, why he's married to Quinn and why Rachel doesn't know who he is, and why his son and daughter have been wiped off the face of the earth, and he's going to make him talk.

"What did you do to me?" Finn says.

"Oh it's nothing_ I_ did," Black suit says cryptically.

"So you're saying I did this to myself!" he snaps.

"Didn't you?" Black suit says after a long drag of his cigarette.

"No, I didn't ask for any of this," Finn insists.

He chuckles a little and tosses his cigarette to the ground stomping it out with his foot. "You wanted Rachel to have all of her dreams right?" he continues. "Now she does."

He's right, he did say something to that effect right before black suit clocked him. Now he's woken up in a reality where Rachel has never met him and as a result she's a huge star. It really was his fault, all along.

"Th-that's, not… that's not what I said I wanted," Finn cries miserably. "I wanted her to have her dreams but not like this."

"But it's what she wanted," Black suit says. "Ever since she was a little girl, she's dreamed of singing her little heart out in crowded shows, the stage was always Rachel's true love Finn."

He knew that, he knew that on some level he was always second to her love of music, of performing, but she wouldn't really trade him for her shot at stardom would she? She definitely wouldn't trade their children. She wouldn't allow this if she new anything about it.

"But our kids…

"They're great kids Finn," Black suit says casually. "You're a lovely family, truly, but the love of three is a poor substitute for the love of millions don't you think?"

"My kids aren't substitutes!" Finn snaps. "I want them back, you give me my children back right now!"

"How can you be so selfish?" Black suit says. "You're always thinking of Finn aren't you? When you blew Rachel's shot at her first national championship, when you proposed to her in high school knowing that you had no plans or goals of your own, knowing that your lack of direction might hold her back."

"It worked out, I found my calling."

"It worked out for _you_ Finn," Black suit says. "Nothing in Rachel's life with you worked out according to her plan."

"Rachel wasn't always a part of my plan either," Finn says truthfully, sophomore year he never would have thought he'd end up falling in love with Rachel Berry, in fact there was a time not so long ago when he really did see himself married to Quinn. "Things change."

"Finn, the Rachel Berry in this universe is a multi-platinum selling recording artist, a star of stage and screen, one of the most renowned performers of her generation," Black suit explains. "She starred in her first broadway play at the age of nineteen, recorded her first platinum selling album at 21, starred in her first major motion picture at 23, she's already three quarters of the way to an EGOT and she's not even thirty, and you really want to take all of that away from her? Even though it's what you've always wanted for her?"

He doesn't know how to answer that and it scares him, he wants his children back, he wants Rachel to be his wife again, but he wants her to have all of the things that Black suit just said.

"Is she happy?" Finn says, his voice breaking, barely audible.

"I'm sorry?" Black Suit says, curving his hand around his ear.

"Is she happy?" Finn says, louder.

"She's a star Finn," Black suit says. "What do you think?"

He's never felt more conflicted, he doesn't know what to do, Rachel has everything she's ever wanted and all it took was never falling in love with him. But it can't be worth it, it can't be worth erasing two lives.

"What if I could find her?" Finn says. "What if I can explain it to her, who I am. Maybe we can start over in this universe, maybe Jack and Sally can still exist."

"Do you really think she would believe you Finn?" Black Suit says.

"She has to," Finn insists. "I know her, I know her heart, I could make her believe me."

"You _knew_ her Finn, the Rachel you used to know doesn't exist."

"No, I don't believe that," Finn says, shaking his head.

"Even if you could make her believe you," Black suit starts. "There's still the issue of your wife Finn."

"Finn!" He jerks his head around to see his mother standing on the porch. "Who are you talking to?" He turns back around to face Black Suit, but he's gone, he's on his mothers lawn in his underwear talking to himself, he's worse than a Lima loser, he's officially a lunatic. "Would you please come talk to your wife, she's beside herself."

He knows that he's supposed to be married to Quinn and even if he doesn't understand it at all it's not fair to just ignore her. He exhales slowly and turns to join his mother from the porch, reluctantly grabbing the phone away from her.

"Hello?" he says softly into the phone.

"Finn! What the hell has gotten into you?" Quinn yells. "You wake up shouting nonsense to me about how you're not my husband then you run off without any explanation?"

"I'm sorry," Finn says simply.

"You're sorry?" Quinn says mockingly. "You're unbelievable."

"Listen Quinn I don't know what happened, I don't know what's happening to me."

"I know what's going to happen to you if you don't get your ass home this instant. I have to go to work and you know it's your day to drive Beth to school, and you better hurry because you have work at 8:30 and I'll be damned if I'm going to pick up your slack around here if Burt fires you." She doesn't give him a chance to respond before she hangs up the phone. Apparently Rachel wasn't the only one who was miserable being married to him. He sighs and hangs up the phone.

"Honey," Carole says. "I know what you said, about staying together for the sake of Beth, but I think that sometimes it's just better for everyone to admit when it's time to move on."

He doesn't know the details, but he has an idea of what his mother is talking about.

* * *

><p>Quinn is already gone by the time he gets back, she probably can't stand to look at him right now, he's not sure if he can blame her, he'd be pissed too if he woke up to his wife claiming to be married to someone else, but he has to find a way to make the experience of living with Quinn run as smoothly as possible until he can find Rachel, he doesn't even know what to expect when he does find her, Black Suit is right, it's not as simple as just reminding that they should be together, he's married to Quinn now, there's no easy way out of that, even if Rachel did believe him.<p>

He finds Beth sitting alone at the counter, finishing the last of her cocoa pebbles. She's a beautiful child, with long blonde waves and hazel eyes framed by thick rimmed glasses, and he wonders where she got the bad vision from, he also wonders if like Quinn she hates him too.

"Hi dad," she says with a warm smile, okay, she definitely doesn't hate him, and he's not sure if that's better or worse.

"Hi Beth," he says, trying to return the smile. "Um, I'm just going to go get dressed and then I guess I'll take you to school."

"That was the plan," she says,picking up her bowl to sip the sweetened brown milk.

He finds his uniform easily, throwing it on along with his hat, and a cold feeling runs through his stomach as he looks at himself in the mirror in his blue collared shirt and blue jacket with a nametag reading Finn. Burt Hummel was always one of his biggest role models, he was honest and strong, the best kind of man, and there was no shame in becoming the kind of man he was, but he had a strong feeling he wasn't that kind of man at all, looking in the mirror he didn't see the kind of man that would get elected to congress and go on to be elected governor of Ohio (accomplishments he supposed never came to pass, since he's still running the tire shop) the man in the mirror right now was a Lima loser through and through.

"Come on dad, you're already pretty, let's go," Beth says, tucking her head into the door, and he can't help but chuckle a little at that. She's funny, she probably got that from Puck.

He drives toward the middle school, the only thing breaking the silence is the song on the radio, he keeps looking sideways at her, wondering what to say.

"I like this song," she says as the song changes to Faithfully.

"Me too," Finn says, a lump forming in his throat. "it's our song."

"You and mom?" Beth says a little sadly.

"No me and Ra-" he stops just in time to correct himself. "Yeah."

"Dad," Beth says quietly. "Are you and mom going to get a divorce."

He looks over at her again, and she's looking back at him with her pretty hazel eyes, Puck's eyes.

"I don't… I don't know," he says honestly.

"I know you're trying to protect me," she says, her voice cracking, and he wishes he knew what to do, he doesn't know this girl, not at all, but he feels for her so much already. "But sometimes I think I would feel better if you did. I know that sounds awful."

"No, no it doesn't it's just how you feel."

"What I really want though is for you to just be happy again, both of you, because I love you both so much," she says, still crying.

"We love you too sweetheart," Finn says, not sure where the sentiment is coming from. He doesn't actually love her, he doesn't know her, but he can imagine that he could love her if things were different, there was a time when he did love her, the time he sang I'll Stand By You to her sonogram and wanted to name her drizzle. He stops in front of her school with five minutes to spare. And he decides that it doesn't feel right to lie to this little girl, he'll tell her the truth, not the whole truth, but some version of it.

"I don't know who I am here," he says. "I don't know how I ended up here or why. There was a time in my life where all I ever wanted was to be married to your mother."

"But it's harder now," she deduces. "I hear you guys fighting sometimes when you think I'm sleeping."

"And you don't deserve that," he says truthfully. "You deserve better."

"It's not about what I deserve," she says, shaking her head.

"Yes it is," Finn says without hesitation. "I want you to be happy Beth, and I want you to know that none of this is your fault."

"Look dad, whatever happens with mom, I'll still love you. I just want it to stop," she dissolves into tears at that point and throws her arms around him and it makes him feel like shit, but he reciprocates, hugging her and rubbing her back the way he does when Jack or Sally is upset and thinking about them makes his heart ache.

"It's okay baby girl," he says. "Don't cry, I don't ever want to see you cry okay?"

"Okay dad," she says, breaking the embrace and wiping her tears beneath her glasses as she opens the door to let herself out. "I love you."

"Okay, I'll see you tonight Driz," he says, not entirely sure where the urge to give her a nickname comes from, but her smile returns at the name, and it's such a pretty one.

"God" she says, rolling her eyes. "You haven't called me that in years, I thought I finally broke you out of that."

She really does deserve better, he realizes, and he can't give her that, not like this.

"You know what?" Finn says, his voice breaking. "I think you might be the only good thing in this universe."

And she only smiles more at the comment, not even realizing just how true it is.

**Stay Tuned Folks!**


	4. Research

He won't go to Burt's, keeping out of trouble at work is the last of his priorities, but he calls in sick just to make sure nobody tries to contact Quinn. She'll be home at six, after she picks Beth up from her friends house, he has eight hours to find out everything there is to know about Rachel Berry, and since Black Suit has yet to return, he'll use the only other all knowing entity he can think of, the internet.

Black suit was right, Rachel's career over the past ten years was truly impressive, two Tonies, six Grammies, an Emmy for best performance by a guest actor, if that weren't enough she now demands 10 million dollars per film and has graced almost 200 magazine covers, but who was she? He was able to dig up a few old interviews but nothing in them suggested anything more than a starlet telling America what they wanted to hear.

"_Working on this movie has been an amazing experience for me, Steven Spielberg is a genius."_

"_I found the transition from the stage to film to be quite natural actually."_

"_My fans mean the world to me, I would be nowhere without them."_

It isn't until he Google image searches her that he comes up with anything troubling, among all of the pictures of Rachel looking heart-stoppingly gorgeous (if a bit too thin) on the red carpet, were several of her various drunken exploits. His Rachel drank occasionally but for the most part she avoided the stuff, but the Rachel of this universe apparently lived in a bottle. He reads the headlines…

"_Rachel Goes Crazy In Vegas."_

"_Rachel's Berry Wild Night In London" (Groan)_

"_Rachel Off the Wagon Again"_

Again? What did they mean by again? As if this has been a problem before. He pushes the thought out of his mind, the tabloids exaggerated everything, all he saw in those pictures was a young, single woman having a good time, sure it wasn't very Rachel like, but it wasn't particularly disturbing either, according to every article he's read about Rachel she's nothing but perfectly professional on the set and in the studio. The papers will do anything to make it look like a girl scout like Rachel had some sort of problem. It pisses him off frankly, that they would spread lies about her. He won't read the articles, he won't read about 'unnamed sources' trying to drag Rachel's name through the mud. Instead he heads to the living room if she's as big of a star as she appears to be then surely Quinn has one of her movies. He's not mistaken, on her shelf is the film that made Rachel famous, an original movie musical by Baz Luhrmann about a Teenage girl in depression era New York who supports her family by taking over her father's speakeasy after he is gunned down by the Mob.

He makes it about half an hour through the movie without crying, hot, bitter, loud tears that won't stop. She's stunning, her voice, her acting, just her. It was what she was meant to do, he always knew it. How could that prick casting director from _Promises, Promises _not see that? The movie is two and a half hours long, still he can't help but start it from the beginning when it's over. He knows he's wasting time, that he should be doing more research, but he just has to watch her, to see her. It's official, even if he can go back to his life, he doesn't want to take all of this away from Rachel, there has to be a way to get his children back without sacrificing everything that Rachel has accomplished in this universe. He has to find her, explain it to her, make her listen, if he has to start all over again he will. He knows it's more complicated than that, there is Quinn to deal with, and Beth, his daughter who isn't. She thinks he's her father, she loves him like a father and he knows even through the small interaction he had with her, he can't just abandon her, he's not even sure if he wants to. But he has to divorce Quinn, he's not in love with her, he doesn't even know her anymore, and it's clear that they aren't happy, maybe if they can have a clean break Quinn can get her life back on track, maybe she can even start acting again.

"Brilliant isn't she?" He nearly jumps out of his skin at the sound of Black Suit's voice, and he takes the remote and pauses the movie.

"You really have to stop doing that," Finn says in frustration.

"You aren't really still thinking of tracking her down are you?" Black Suit replies, placing his always present cigarette between his lips and sucking in a puff of smoke.

"I have to," Finn says. "I have to get my children back."

"Are you sure this is just about them Finn?" Black suit says. "What if you and Rachel had been childless? Would you keep your distance and allow her to live her life?"

Finn's jaw tightens in contemplation, he knows his answer, he would choose Rachel every time.

"No," Finn says honestly. "I would find her."

"Answer me this Finn, what does Rachel get out of her relationship with you?" Black Suit asks.

"I love her," Finn says simply.

"That's not an answer."

"It's all I have to give," Finn says.

"You told me that Rachel would be better off never having fallen in love with you, and now that you've realized that is indeed true your only thought is to track her down and make her love you all over again? I find that very curious Finn."

"I can't destroy what's already happened," Finn rationalizes.

"Perhaps," Black Suit says, shrugging. "But what you're planning to do will throw Rachel's entire world into upheaval, have you thought about that?"

"Of course I have, but it doesn't change anything," Finn says. "I need her, I need my kids, I can't survive without them."

"It really is all about Finn isn't it," Black Suit scoffs.

"Maybe in this case it is," Finn replies, not even bothering to get angry with Black Suit man. "But I don't care, I have to try. And you're going to help me."

"How do you figure?"

"You owe me," Finn shoots back. "You may have fixed Rachel's life, but you ruined mine, you ruined Quinn's and you ruined my mom's and what about Kurt, what about Blaine, are they still married? Am I going to find out my step-brother is a male prostitute now?"

"Actually Kurt is a costume designer in New York, just like before, he and Blaine are doing just fine, not everything where you came from happened because you and Rachel were together Finn, don't give yourself so much credit."

Finn nods, happy that at least Kurt is okay, even if he's not his stepbrother anymore, even if they barely know each other in this universe.

"But there was never a glee club," Finn says, almost under his breath. "If Rachel never went to McKinley that means Quinn never had a reason to join glee club, neither did Puck or Santana or Brittany," Finn deduces. "I figured it out."

"You did, did you?" Black suit says, clearly amused.

"What does that mean?" Finn says, narrowing his eyes.

"There _was_ a glee club Finn, there still is in fact, you were just never a part of it," Black Suit explains. "Without Rachel Berry there to blow the whistle on Sandy Ryerson he was never fired and Mr. Schuester never took over."

Finn's grits his teeth a little, but nods in understanding.

"Don't worry about Mr. Schuester, he's fine," Black Suit says. Finn isn't convinced, but he'll find a way to help Mr. Schuester, maybe call in a tip about Mr. Ryerson. For now what matters is finding Rachel.

"I don't understand why Rachel never went to McKinley," Finn says dourly. "The point was for her to never have fallen in love with me, not to never have met me in the first place."

"Well, to Rachel they were one in the same," Black Suit man explains, and he has to admit that that makes him feel a bit proud. "Rachel Berry was doomed to love you from the start."

Finn scoffs as the small sense of pride Black Suit's comment provided vanishes. "Doomed, that's a nice way to put it," Finn says sarcastically.

"In this universe Rachel Berry went to Carmel High were she thrived as the Co Captain of vocal adrenaline."

"I know," Finn sighs. "I read it on her IMDb Page."

"Did you read anything about Jesse St. James?" Black suit says cryptically.

"Why would I be interested in reading about Jesse?" Finn scoffs "The only interaction we've had in the past year is when he beat me at nationals last year and I had to beat him this year just to get him to stop gloating on Facebook, I was looking forward to the tie breaker but other than that I won't exactly miss the guy."

"Well good to know that you care." Black suit says sarcastically.

"Wait," Finn says, knitting his brow. "Should I care?"

"It's not important," Black Suit says, shrugging as he lights another cigarette. "It's odd though that you never came across anything in all your searching, but I suppose Hollywood does have a rather short attention span, you'd have to look back about three years I suppose."

Something tells Finn that he should do a Google search about Jesse St. James when he gets a chance, but for now he has to concentrate on the issue at hand.

"Listen, are you going to tell me how to find Rachel or not? I know you know," Finn says. "But I'll find her with or without your help."

"I know, but I suppose I do owe you something," Black suit confirms. "Carmel is having their high school reunion Friday night at the Carmel Radisson, Rachel didn't RSVP so the security should be light, what they don't know is that she'll be crashing the party at the halfway point. Going is your best shot."

It's hard to believe that it would really be that easy, but he doesn't have any other choice at this point, he'll go to that reunion, it's his best shot.

"Hey," Finn says. "What did happen to Jesse?" there's no answer and when Finn turns around. Black Suit is gone, just like clockwork.

"Figures," Finn says under his breath. At that he gets up to go back to the computer, he never thought that he could be driven to care about Jesse, but something about Black Suit's words didn't sit right with him and he had to know. Unfortunately when he types his name into Google, all that comes up is an error message reading that the server is down. He groans in frustration but thanks his lucky stars that he at least found out how to track down Rachel. Now to find a way to deal with Quinn.

* * *

><p>The environment around the dinner table that night is cold and a bit hostile, how Finn suspects it always is.<p>

"I got an A on my geometry test today," Beth says, breaking the silence.

"Really?" Finn beams. "That's great kid, good job."

"Yeah, good job." Quinn says half-heartedly.

"I studied really hard," Beth says. "Mrs. Reynolds gives the best student in class two tickets to Cedar Point, I can practically taste the Churro sugar."

"We're really proud of you Driz," Finn says, making her smile, and he notices the way Quinn scoffs a little at the nickname.

"Well thank you for helping me study dad," Beth says warmly. "Even if most of my practice came from having to explain the problems to you."

"I'm happy to help," Finn responds, and he finds it odd to say the least how easy his rapport is with Beth, odd but nice, it doesn't help him miss his own children any less, in fact he thinks it makes him miss them even more, but in a way, it's still nice. And he'll get his kids back, he knows he will, even if doing it all again is going to be hard, they're worth it.

"Finn," Quinn says. "Did you not go to work today?"

And at that he's snapped out of his fantasies about getting Jack and Sally back and he looks at Quinn with a bit of fear in his eyes.

"Mrs. Plessy from next door called," Quinn explains, "She says she saw you moving around inside all day."

"What the hell was some lady doing spying on me?" Finn says, confused.

"That's beside the point, did you skip work today?" Quinn repeats.

"Well yeah but-

"Can I talk to you alone for a minute?" Quinn says clearly pissed.

And Finn looks at Beth, her head is down and she's picking at her pot roast but not eating it, and the saddest of sad looks graces her features.

"No," Finn says.

"Excuse me?" Quinn seethes, her eyes narrowing in anger.

"Were going to sit here and we're going to listen to Beth talk about her day," Finn says. "So was the test hard?" Finn asks, his attention going to Beth.

"Well, it was for the other kids, but not me," Beth says proudly. "Because I rock."

"Yeah you do," Finn says smiling at his daughter who isn't, and he hopes that Sally grows up to be half as cool, but he knows that won't be an issue, the issue was getting her here a second time. "So, about those Cedar point tickets-

At that Quinn shoots up from the table and marches out in a huff, and he knows that he should follow her, but following her will just lead to another fight, and he doesn't want to keep subjecting Beth to that, even if it wasn't really him doing it in the first place. Tonight he'll ask Quinn for a divorce, until then his job is to keep Beth Happy.

"She'll get over it," Beth says.

"Either that or she'll just think of something else to be mad at me about," Finn says. And Beth only shrugs and continues with her meal.

* * *

><p>Quinn is sitting up in bed when he gets to his room, her arms are crossed and she's as mad as he's ever seen her, but he won't let it get to him, not now.<p>

"Quinn," Finn says calmly. "We need to talk."

"You're damn right we-

"Not here," Finn says, cutting her off. "In the car."

"Excuse me?" Quinn says.

"Beth told me that she can hear us when we argue," Finn says. "We need to stop this Quinn, she doesn't deserve that."

"Fine," Quinn says shoving the covers off of herself and marching out of the room.

They meet in the car, taking a seat across from each other and not looking at each other.

"What is going on with you Finn?" Quinn says. "You've been acting insane all day and I don't get it, help me understand."

"I want a divorce," Finn says, spitting out the words in a near whisper.

"What?" Quinn says. "What the hell do you mean you want a divorce?"

"You want one too, admit it," Finn says. "You're not happy Quinn, you've never been happy, not with me. And maybe a lot of it was my fault, I'm slow, I'm unsophisticated, I almost never say the right thing, I get it Quinn, I'm not always the easiest person to live with. But guess what I'm not going to change and neither are you, we're not bad people Quinn, we're just bad for each other."

"What do you mean I'm not happy with you, I married you," she says, raising her voice.

"And ever since we've done nothing but fight, haven't we?" Finn says, only guessing that that's true, and clearly guessing correctly judging by her lack of response. "And maybe there were some happy times here and there, but for the most part we just tolerate each other so Beth doesn't have to see her parents break up."

"I don't want Beth to be raised in a broken home Finn," Quinn says.

"And is that the only reason you can think of for us to stay together?" Finn says, and he knows from the look of confliction on Quinn's face that it is.

"I love you Quinn," he says, it's not exactly a lie, part of him would always love Quinn. "Which is why I want you to be happy, and you're not, and neither am I."

"You know what?" Quinn says, tears flowing from her eyes, her face hard, much like the first time he broke up with her in a car. "If you want out, then get out, I'm sure there's a lovely roach motel you can go to, maybe you can bang a few hookers that look like Rachel Berry while you come to your senses, but just hope to god that you don't end up breaking your daughter's heart in the process." At that she gets out of the car, slamming the door and leaving him with his thoughts. Quinn will be okay, so will Beth, but he has to find Rachel.

**Yes, Rachel will come into the picture very soon. Stay Tuned Folks!**


	5. Reunited

**Not only is this a quick update, the next one should be up by tomorrow as well, how much do you love me right now?**

He packs his things quietly, quickly, Quinn standing by, her arms crossed, fury behind her eyes, he knows that he shouldn't bother, these clothes aren't his anyway, but he needs a suit for Friday and shopping just seems like such a waste of time with everything going on.

"I can't believe you right now," Quinn scoffs, staying quiet. "So you're actually doing this? You're just going to leave?"

"I'll be at my mom's if you need me," he says a bit coldly.

"Why are you doing this Finn?" she says.

"I told you why."

"No, that's not it is it?" Quinn says. "We've been having problems for years now all of a sudden you can't take anymore?"

"Quinn, I don't expect you to understand," He says. "But you don't want to be married to me, you should be with someone who's heart is in this."

"Are you having an affair?" She asks, her voice still calm, quiet. What Finn said to her about Beth being able to hear them must have gotten to her.

"No," Finn sighs. Or at least he doesn't think he is.

"Then why?" she says, a few tears breaking free, and suddenly he feels a bit like shit, and Quinn really shouldn't be able to make him feel bad, he didn't sign up for any of this, not to mention Quinn had basically lied to him for the entirety of their relationship, still, he didn't like seeing her cry over him.

"Quinn, this morning I woke up and all I could think to myself is 'what am I doing here?' It's like a light went on and I realized how off track everything has gotten," he explains, not exactly lying.

"And you think that's my fault?"

"No, it isn't your fault, it's nobody's fault, it just is," he says. At that he packs the last of his clothes and walks up to Quinn, giving her a light kiss on the forehead, she doesn't protest, she just stands there, even as he begins to walk out.

"And Quinn?" He says, turning back to face her. He doesn't know where it comes from, but in some way he feels like he owes something to Beth for all this, so he says it, hesitating only for a moment. "One of these days you need to tell Beth the truth, about who her father is-" And Quinn's eyes go wide and she opens her mouth as if she's about to say something, but he intervenes.

"Don't ask me how I know," he says, cutting her off, and she just looks down at the floor in embarrassment, or guilt. "And I'm not mad at you Quinn, I forgave you for that a long time ago, but Beth has a right to know." He turns without another word, needing to make one last stop.

She's sleeping when he reaches her room, or pretending to sleep, either way he sits at the corner of her bed and smiles down at her.

"You're leaving aren't you?" she says, not opening her eyes.

"I am," He says, his voice breaking a bit. And without another word she jumps up to hug him, and he hugs back, savoring it. "I promise, no matter what happens with me and your mom, I'll always be there, always, no matter what."

"I know," she says sadly.

"I love you Beth," he says, and it's the truth, he doesn't understand how, but it is.

"I love you too daddy," She says, sniffling, and he thinks of Sally and how she calls him daddy and his heart breaks.

"I'm going to be at your grandma's for awhile," he says as he breaks the hug, you can call or come by anytime you want okay? And she nods, wiping away her tears.

He gets up then and turns to leave. He hopes Quinn tells her the truth about Puck, not that he has any intentions of disappearing from her life should he be stuck in this reality, but having two dads never hurt anyone, Rachel was proof of that.

"Beth," he says before he walks out. "What do you know about Noah Puckerman?"

She's clearly thrown off by the randomness of the question, he doesn't blame her, but she answers. "The groundskeeper at my school?" Where Finn came from Puck was a world traveling street musician, he definitely owed him a daughter. "He's nice, he always has Jolly ranchers for me when I come to school. Why do you ask?"

He simply shrugs. "Goodnight Driz, I love you," he repeats.

"I love you too," and with that, he's gone.

* * *

><p>He can't stop his hands from shaking as he puts on his tie, he hasn't thought this through, at all, he's not even sure how he's going to get in, but he'll find a way, he'll find a way to Rachel.<p>

Black Suit hasn't been around in days, in a way he's glad, he's a bit tired of his cryptic words and mind games. Everything else he finds out about Rachel's life will be on his terms. He calls in sick at work for two more days, and he suspects they all know about his marriage to Quinn falling apart, so they don't question him too much, neither does his mom, she mostly just enjoys his company, he wonders just how lonely she is in this reality and he thinks about setting her up with Burt, better late than never right? The truth is he doesn't plan to work there much longer, not if he's going to move to New York with Rachel and start his adult life all over again. He keeps thinking about Black Suit's words, about whether it's selfish to try to finagle his way back into Rachel's life now, but he thinks about his children, about how he accidentally erased them from the face of the earth and he knows that he's not going to be able to stop himself.

"Where are you off to looking so handsome?" Carole says, coming up behind him.

"High school reunion," Finn says truthfully, he figures he should avoid lying as much as possible, especially considering the lie he's going to have to tell to get into the reunion.

"Your reunion isn't for another week," Carole says, "I got the notice in the mail."

"I'm crashing Carmel's high school reunion," He explains.

"Okay, any reason why?"

"An old friend went there, this could be my last chance to see her before she goes back to New York."

"She?" Carole says a bit judgmentally. "Already?"

"It's not like that," he says. Well, that one was a lie.

"Don't you have Facebook for that kind of thing Finn?"

"She's not on Facebook, I have to go."

"Okay," Carole says, still a bit hesitant. "I know this has been a stressful week for you, you just go have fun alright, but not too much." She kisses him on the cheek and leaves him alone to finish working on his tie.

* * *

><p>He doesn't think he's ever been more nervous in his life as he enters the Carmel Radisson, every time he thinks about the monumental task at hand. It was hard enough to convince a woman to marry him and have his children, but a celebrity? The only thing he had going for him was that he knew her, he knew her better than anyone else, even if her life after the age fourteen went in a completely different direction, he knew who she was, who she really was, the Rachel the magazines and tabloids had no idea about.<p>

He approaches the sign in table, trying to keep his hands from sweating, trying to remember the years of acting pointers he involuntarily picked up from Rachel after years of running lines with her. Lying was really just acting when you thought about it right? Acting he could handle.

"Your name sir?" the woman at the sign in table says to him.

"You mean you don't remember me?" Finn says, feigning offense, his voice shakes a little more than he would like but he supposes she'll chalk it up to him being upset. She looks up at him then, and narrows her eyes a little. "I'm sorry, I guess it's just been so long, I don't recognize you."

"Wow Cindy," Finn says, trying to sound hurt and he's really glad she's wearing her name tag already. "We had like four classes together senior year, I let you borrow my pencil that one time, I can't believe you don't remember me."

He notices that she looks a little guilty, it's working, he can't believe it, Rachel would be so proud of him. She narrows his eyes once more, really wracking her brain to remember who he is."

"Wait a minute," she says. "Kenny, right?"

"Yes, Kenny…" he starts, hoping she'll finish.

"Kenny DiFranco," She says, finishing. "Your skin really cleared up nice."

"Yeah, um, Accutane," he says, going with it.

"And did you get taller?"

"I did, I had a wicked growth spurt my freshman year in college."

"Well it's great to see you again, we'll catch up inside okay," Cindy says, handing him his name tag, and he really hopes that Kenny DiFranco has the decency not to show up.

He affixes the nametag to his lapel and enters the ballroom, he heads straight for the refreshment table, he removes the tag when he's sure no one is looking, pretending to be Kenny DiFranco all night is the last thing he feels like doing, all he really wants to do is eat marshmallow squares and wait for Rachel, but he has to play along for the time being, If anyone asks, he's Kenny, but with the name tag gone he's just another guy nobody remembers.

"Fifty bucks she shows up."

"Oh please, Rachel Berry at a high school reunion. I'd pay just to see that."

He doesn't mean to eavesdrop on their conversation, but once he hears her name he can't help himself. He traipses up to them slowly, trying not to draw attention to himself.

"I bet you anything she shows up wasted," a chubby redhead girl who's name tag reads Jennifer says to her friend, an attractive black girl who's name tag say Regina.

"I'm telling you she's not coming," Regina says.

"Nope, I'm telling you, she's going to stumble in falling all over herself," Jennifer insists. "After what happened to Jesse she's been a total train wreck."

"I think those are rumors," Regina argues. "You've seen her interviews, how well she composes herself."

"I've also seen those candid you tube videos too and they tell a whole other story," Jennifer replies

"But we went to high school with the girl, she wouldn't even have a beer at my homecoming party."

"It makes total sense, she was always so overzealous about everything," Jennifer says. "Always trying to be the best, stressed out, wanting everything so much, all that pressure was bound to catch up to her eventually, and after what happened to Jesse… I can totally believe those junkie rumors."

_Junkie? _Finn thinks to himself, no, no way, Rachel would never do drugs, ever. The so-called junkie rumors were just that, rumors, although he sort of wishes he had read those tabloid stories now, if only to get a better idea of what her reputation was. And what was all this talk about Jesse? He had been so preoccupied the past couple of days with everything with Quinn and Beth and planning to get Rachel back, he hadn't remembered to look into what happened to Jesse, now he really wishes he would have.

"Wait, what are you talking about," Finn says, butting into their conversation. "What happened to Jesse St. James?"

"Do you live under a rock or something?" Regina says.

"Kind of," Finn replies.

"Who are you anyway? I don't recognize you," Jennifer asks.

"Kenny DiFranco," Finn says quickly, hoping to get back to the subject.

"Shut up," Jennifer says. "Where's your pizza face?"

"Can you please just tell me what happened to Jesse, and what it has to do with Rachel, please?"

"I'm sorry, I thought everybody knew," Regina says. "Jesse died three years ago."

"Yeah, he's going to be included in the in memoriam later on, it was in the program, didn't you get one?"

He doesn't answer Jennifer, he doesn't know what to think, he was never Jesse's biggest fan, but he didn't want him to die.

"How did it happen?" Finn says, his voice hoarse.

"It's a very long, sad story," Regina says.

"Can you tell it from the beginning please?" Finn says, and he can tell that that's not a problem for these girls, they clearly like to talk.

"Well, as you know Jesse and Rachel were inseparable all throughout high school, Carmel's singing, dancing power couple," Jennifer starts, and Finn has to admit that stings a little, even though he knows it shouldn't. "They went to New York together after graduation, they were going to be big stars on the Broadway."

"Unfortunately Rachel made it big pretty much instantly while Jesse was shot down for parts at every turn. They stayed together through it all but it didn't take long for Jesse to start resenting Rachel's success."

"The more famous she got the less time they spent together, he started to get jealous, suspicious, abusive."

"Wait," Finn says angrily. "He hit her?"

"No, nothing like that," Regina says.

"Nothing the tabloids could prove anyway," Jennifer says cynically.

"Come on, we knew Jesse, he would never hit Rachel, he used his words," Regina says. "I guess he had such a hard time dealing with Rachel getting all the limelight he did everything in his power to make her feel awful about herself. He would cling to her all the time, pick fights with other guys, call her cruel names."

"And all of this was before the drinking started," Jennifer says. "The drinking and the drugs. If he couldn't make his own millions as an entertainer then he'd spend hers on smack, and he knew she loved him to much to kick him to the curb."

"It got so bad that her dads refused to talk to her unless she broke up with him, so finally she did," Regina adds. "And he died of a Heroin overdose a week later."

Finn feels instantly sick at the sad story of Jesse St. James, but he's too worried for Rachel to dwell on it for very long. "And Rachel?" he chokes out in almost a whisper.

"Wow, you really do live under a rock don't you?" Regina says, he only gives her an annoyed look, and she continues. "Rachel never forgave herself for not doing more to help him, she had a falling out with her dads and she just fell apart, the only time she's not a total mess is when she's performing."

"It's debatable whether she started using before Jesse died or after," Jennifer says.

"I'm telling you they're rumors, she may drink like a fish at parties but who doesn't? she's not a drug addict just because Jesse was."

"Haven't you ever heard of codependency, it does scary things to people, messes them up."

He can't listen to anymore, he turns away then, not bothering to say anything. Jesse was dead and Rachel was a wreck over him, nothing was going right so far. He had to see her, the longer it took for her to get there the more nervous and frustrated he became, and his mind goes to dark places, would he have been just like Jesse if Rachel had made it big in his reality? No, he thinks to himself, his dreams were never as big as hers, he wanted to feel special like everyone else, but he didn't need to be a superstar to feel special, just to help his students reach for the stars and be a good father and be married to Rachel, that's all he needed to feel special. He waits for her, sipping a beer while everyone ignores him, maybe because they feel awkward about not recognizing him, maybe because of the very clear fuck off face he's currently sporting. every once in awhile he's approached by a cute tipsy girl who calls him by the wrong name in a fruitless attempt to flirt, or a former student's spouse who tries to make nice to feel better about not knowing anybody, but for the most part he's left alone. It's nearing nine and she still hasn't arrived, it's the halfway point like Black Suit says, and as time passes his heart pounds harder and his palms sweat like crazy, and he just wants to see his wife again, he knows it isn't too much to ask.

"Helloooo Carmel!" his gaze immediately does to the double doors at the sound of her voice, loud and slurred but unmistakably hers, she's here, she came. And it's all he can do not to fall out of his seat, he manages to get up from where he's sitting as she makes her way through the crowd, and the reaction is what anyone would expect, discordant, excited exclamations coming from all angles, ex classmates pleading for her to confirm that she remembers them, spouses asking for autographs, money paid at won bets. This goes on for several minutes and he can barely catch a glimpse at her, but it goes quiet sooner than he would expect, and when they finally scatter away from her, going silent, he can see why. She's loaded, it's so obvious, she's stumbling on her heels and giggling at nothing, and soon the excitement turns into discomfort as she makes her way through the room. Looks like Regina owes Jennifer 50 bucks.

"Why is everyone so quiet all of a sudden?" she says, loudly as everyone simply looks away, her long brown hair is disheveled and her eyes as glazed over and her dress seems to be hanging off of her scarily thin shoulders, and his eyes automatically flood with tears at the sight of her, he wipes them away, trying to pull himself together as she makes her way through the crowd. "Is it because I'm drunk? Is that it? Because I have to say, I've been way drunker than this." Nobody says a thing and he can see a few screens lit up, they're taping it. "Is this because I killed Jesse? Is that it? Is that why nobody will talk to me?"

"Ms. Berry, perhaps you want to step outside for a few moments to compose yourself?" A security guard says, coming up to her.

"Don't be ridiculous I'm not going anywhere," she says, yanking her arm away. And she stops talking and stumbles to the bar, and Finn follows, not speaking to her, just watching her, not knowing what to say.

"I'm sorry, I don't remember you," she says dismissively to Finn while he just looks at her, his beautiful Rachel. He wants to reach out and touch her but the girl standing next to him doesn't know who the hell he is.

"Kenny DiFranco," he says, more out of nervousness and habit at this point.

"Yeah, not ringing any bells," she says, taking her drink from the clearly uncomfortable looking bartender.

"Hey Rachel, you're on camera," An ex-classmate with a cell phone says as he comes up to her at the bar. "Do you have anything you wanted-

"Get the fuck out of here," Finn seethes, shoving the guy just subtly enough not to be noticed by any security but forcefully enough for him to back off.

"Thank you, you're so chivalrous," Rachel says before knocking back her drink in one swallow, and it makes the lump in his throat ache even more painfully, those familiar words. "Hey, why are you crying?"

"I uh," he starts, not sure what to say to her, he hasn't had that problem in years, he and Rachel were always so comfortable with each other now, but it was a completely different now and he just doesn't know what to say. "I lost my family recently," he finally answers, truthfully.

"Oh no," she says sympathetically. "That's terrible. I'm so sorry."

"Yeah," he agrees, and he wonders how long it will be before it's alright to touch her, to stroke her hair or cup her face in his hands so he can look into her eyes and tell her that it's all going to be okay. He's guessing it's still too soon for that.

"Well, Kenny who I don't remember, here's to them, and to Jesse," and she raises her glass and knocks back another drink before stumbling away from Finn, and he knows as she walks away that he can't let her go again, he has to help her, somehow he will.

**Stay tuned folks!**


	6. Beautiful Disaster

All he's wanted for the past few days was to see her again, to hold her, to remind himself that at least on some other plain she's his, and now he has. She's so close yet such a far cry from the girl he loved. He thinks he still saw traces of her, in her smile, in her eyes, but for the most part the Rachel he knew is now gone, replaced by this broken, self-destructive person who's drunken exploits are all over the tabloids. How could she have changed so drastically from the kind, loving, passionate woman he once called his wife? Was fame really that corrupting? Was Jesse really that manipulative? He wishes he were alive now so he could beat him to death for doing this to her. It's all too much at once, he can't process what's become of her, he needs some sort of reprieve, just a little bit of time to figure out his next move, and he hates to even think it but he wishes Black Suit were here, as much as he hates him for everything he put him through, in some ways it's comforting to be able to talk to someone who understands the whole two realities thing.

Unfortunately Black Suit is nowhere to be found, not even in the empty men's bathroom where Finn goes to find a moment of solace. He exhales slowly, trying not to cry while he enters an empty stall, locking the door behind him and pressing his forehead to the cool tile. He stands there for a moment, his eyes closed, hot tears falling down his cheeks, a thousand thoughts screaming in his head so loud he barely hears the person slamming through the door, the person now retching powerfully in the stall beside him. He opens his eyes and looks down beneath the partition into the next stall, and that's when he sees it, shapely bronze legs ending in a pair of expensive strappy shoes, Rachel's shoes. And he thinks he's stopped breathing as she flushes down the product of her binge drinking and picks herself up from the floor. He doesn't move or speak as he listens to her clack her way over to the sink and unscrew some sort of bottle and clumsily drop the cap. More booze? No, mouthwash, he knows because he can hear her gargling.

"Whoever's in there, if you're trying to film this don't bother, there are so many videos of Rachel Berry drunk off her ass on you tube that they barely fetch anything anymore," Rachel says, slurring her words ever so slightly. "Now if you can get a video of me snorting coke or shooting up then you may have something." Does she? He wonders to himself, or is she just being hypothetical? He hopes to god it's the latter, but he has a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach that there's some truth to that statement and it makes him feel sick. "Why don't you put away your camera and come talk to me instead?"

He doesn't have a camera, but he thinks he'll go talk to her. He wipes his tears and pulls himself together, taking one more deep breath before opening the stall door and tentatively walking out.

"Sorry, I know it's the Men's room," Rachel says. "The ladies room is always a madhouse at affairs like this. Everyone needing to talk about how fat Brenda's gotten or how bald Craig has gotten or how big of a train wreck Rachel Berry is… too bad, she had so much potential." She says, mimicking the gossipy women at the reunion at the last part, and he's not sure if she's talking to him or herself at this point.

"You know," she continues, turning to face him. "I really feel like I should remember you."

He still doesn't say anything.

"I think it's your face," she says, walking up closer to him and placing a hand on his chin, narrowing her eyes as if she's studying him, he allows it, mostly because he just doesn't know what else to do, if he tries to say something he'll just break down into sobs.

"You just look like someone I should know." she continues, removing her hand from his face. "You look like a nice person, I feel like I don't know enough nice people."

He knows she's drunk but on some level she meant that.

"You know, you don't talk much, but that's okay, I'm used to having conversations with myself," she says, shrugging. "Everyone I know just pretends to care what I have to say, why should you be any different right? Especially since I don't even remember you. I guess I'm just too big and important to remember a nice guy like you, right? Or my brain is too fried from partying to remember five minutes ago let alone ten years. That's probably what they're saying about me right now, but I guess I'm used to it at this point."

He should be saying something, anything right now, saying something to make her feel better, but he can't find the words, he can't find any words at all.

"And my god, what must they must be saying about poor Jesse?" she says. "The saddest part about that is that most of it is probably true, I can't even defend him, he sure as hell can't defend himself. And God I don't know why I'm unloading all of this on you, maybe it's because you haven't stopped me, you're probably recording this aren't you? I don't even care if you are, I don't blame you, I'm sure you could use the cash."

"I'm not recording anything," he finally says, a bit snappishly, maybe because he just really wants her to know that not everybody wants her for their own personal gain, maybe because he wants her to think something more of him.

"You know, I actually think I believe that," she says, poking him gently in the chest. "You really are a nice guy aren't you Kenny?"

"My name is Finn," he says, not hesitating, he wants her to know, he wants her to know him, even if it's just little by little.

"Well I definitely don't remember a Finn," She says. "But maybe we can make some new memories tonight," her hand is playing with his tie and she's right up against him, and he realizes that she's hitting on him, Rachel Berry is drunkenly hitting on what she thinks is a totally random guy in a public bathroom.

He's overwhelmed, he can't take seeing her like this anymore, so sad and lonely and bitter, so unlike the girl he loves, yet somehow the same, that vulnerability, that way she opens up to him, it's still there, just in some perverse new way that he can't fathom, and he can't take it, he's surprised he's held on this long but at that he breaks down, hyperventilating and shaking, so overcome with emotion he can't stop the flood of tears that come.

"Whoa Finn I…" he doesn't let her finish as he pulls her into his arms and cries bitterly into her shoulder, he knows that she must be confused, but he doesn't care, he just needs her to be in his arms right now, he needs to feel close to her, to make it okay even though he knows its not.

"Hey hey hey what's the matter? Why are you crying? This is a happy time. We're supposed to be celebrating, remember? Everyone is together again, that should make you happy" she says, hesitantly, swaying him a little, "Is it your family? Is it because you lost them?"

He nods against her shoulder as he holds her. "I'm sorry," he sobs into her hair, holding her so tight, not wanting to let her go. "I'm so fucking sorry Rachel."

"It's okay Finn, it's okay to be sad," she says, still hugging him back, probably because she's too confused and intoxicated to react in any other way.

"I fucked up," he cries. "I fucked it all up."

"I know how that feels," she says. And he has to make her understand somehow, he just doesn't know how, he doesn't know how to show her how much he loves her, how much this is killing him. He can't tell her the truth, not now, but he has to do something, and before he knows it he's kissed the shoulder his face is buried in, once and again and a third time, then her hair and her temple and her cheek and then finally her mouth, his body shaking and his heart pounding as he kisses the wife who doesn't know him and cups her face with trembling hands. She hesitates only a little before kissing him back, her inhibitions loosened by the alcohol. The kiss isn't sensual, not even romantic, just urgent and desperate and needy, like he'll die without his lips on hers, and he thinks he might. She tastes like mouthwash and feels like Rachel, the way her mouth feels under his hasn't changed even a little bit, it's soft and warm and sets his body on fire and fills his mouth with sweetness and his heart with the deepest, purest love. She kisses like Rachel, just one thing to be grateful for in this fucked up universe.

"Whoa whoa whoa," she says, pushing him away with a bit of effort, making him immediately long for her again. And he looks at her face then and he can't place her expression, it's confused but there's something else there too, the look on her face right now suggests that she's trying to remember something, something important. "Wow," she says in almost a whisper, touching her own lips.

"What is it?" Finn says, his voice still choked.

"I just I don't understand how you can…"

"What?" he replies, urging her on. "How I can what?"

And there are tears in her eyes now too, and he knows it's not just the booze, she was never that type of drunk.

"You just, you just kissed me."

"I know, I'm sorry but I had to, I know you don't understand it, I don't expect you to."

"But you kissed me… like you love me," she says, her voice quiet, her eyes wide. And his heart is breaking in his chest because she really has no idea.

"I do," he responds, not able to control the words coming out of his own mouth, not wanting to. "God Rachel, I love you so much." And he kisses her again, getting his tears on her face as she kisses him back, and her hands slowly make their way to the back of his head, and she runs her fingers through his hair, the way she always does, his lips part from hers again and she gives him that wide eyed look again, still searching.

"You must be a really big fan huh?" she says as he breaks the kiss. And his heart sinks a little. He knew it was crazy but he really thought he had something there, that some small part of her remembered him, remembered their life together. Maybe he's not totally wrong about that, maybe she just doesn't want to look that deeply inside of herself just yet.

"Yeah," he says, a bit defeated. "I guess you could say that."

"Hey," she says, a bit deviously "You wanna get out of here?"

"Yeah," he says softly, without hesitation.

* * *

><p>He doesn't know what to expect as she stumbles into her sprawling suite at the Radisson, allowing him in with open arms. He knows it's an awful thing to let cross his mind, but he knows he never would have gotten this far if it weren't for the alcohol in her system, maybe she does feel connected to him in a way but the intoxication kept her from rationalizing those feelings, he hopes that's the case. She closes the door behind them and inches her way closer, he has to keep himself from breaking down again, it's just so hard being with her again but not being able to tell her everything. He doesn't want to scare her off now that he's managed to get close to her, and she's probably too plastered to comprehend what he has to say anyway, so he decides to hold his tongue and let this happen. She inches closer to him, her big eyes staring into his, and he runs his hands up her thin arms until they're on her shoulders.<p>

"If I ask you something do you promise you won't get mad?" Finn says softly.

"Okay, I promise," she says.

"Is this something you do like, a lot?" he says carefully, but she doesn't look offended.

"I'm not who you think I am Finn," she says. "I'm not some desperate trollop."

"That's not what I think," he says, smiling a bit at her very Rachel-like word choice. "I think that maybe you're just lonely," and his hand comes up to touch her hair and she smiles warmly at him.

"It's not so bad sometimes," she says, shrugging. "I don't feel lonely when I'm singing… and now, I don't feel lonely now."

And he kisses her again, and she kisses back as she begins to undo the buttons on his shirt, but before she can get too far he sweeps her up into his arms, cradling her tiny body as he walks her to her bed and lays her down gently, still kissing her like nothing has changed, even though everything has. He kisses her long and deep, for an eternity before his lips move down her chin and her neck, making her sigh at the feel of his lips on her tender skin.

"Rachel," he says thickly against the crook of her neck as she begins to undo his belt, and his hands move down to her hands, grabbing them in his, stopping her. "I'm not here for that."

She just giggles, as if he's joking, he's not. "You're funny," and she kisses him again and continues to unbuckle his belt, but he stops her again and breaks the kiss.

"Finn," she says, a bit annoyed. "What do you want exactly?"

And he rolls off of her so they can lay side to side and he threads his fingers through her long hair. "I just want to hold you," he says, tears in his throat again, and he doesn't know if they'll ever stop. "Can you let me do that?"

She narrows her eyes at him in confusion. "You're very strange," she says.

"You have no idea," he replies, still combing her hair away from her sad, pretty face. And at that she moves in closer and lets him circle his arms around her. "Don't worry, I'm not going to tell any of the papers about this," he says as he closes his eyes, holding her closer, feeling so much comfort in the way her body still fits perfectly into his. She'll be clearer in the morning, more able to process everything, and he hopes she won't freak out when she wakes up next to him, and even moreso when he tells her the truth about where he came from.

**Stay tuned folks!**


	7. Have A Little Faith In Me

**Sorry for the short chapter, but at least it's a quick update, he next one probably won't be posted for another couple of days so just bear with me.**

He's not sure when she's going to wake up, or even if he wants her to, it's nice to watch her sleep, comforting, while she lays so peacefully next to him it's easy to pretend for awhile that she's still his wife, that they're at home and their children are in the next room. He misses them so much it hurts, he's never known this kind of pain before, his mind has never been so ill at ease. He's thought long and hard about what he's going to say to her, and the idea of springing all of this on her is still daunting, especially now. Before he saw Rachel again he couldn't help but idealize how this would go, he'd make her believe him, about everything, their life together, their children how, he wished it all away without meaning to and his determination to get her back. Then he'd do just that, she'd fall into his arms and they'd start over as husband and wife and they'd have their children and Rachel would have her dreams and everything would be okay. Now he doesn't know what to expect. This Rachel wasn't who he thought she would be, she was troubled and sad and possibly worse, was it true what they said about her at the reunion, had she gone the way of so many other wildly talented, tragically self destructive stars? He still refused to believe it, He could admit to himself that he had a tendency to keep her on a pedestal of sorts, but she made it hard not to.

She stirs a bit in her sleep and he wonders if he should give her some space, in case she wakes up, but she snuggles in closer to him, wrapping her thin arm around his waist as she sleeps and he knows he's not going anywhere, she tightens her embrace on him and murmurs softly, and he smiles a little and reaches out to comb a bit of stray hair out of her face. He wants to lean in and press his lips to hers, but he knows he'll wake her if he does, so he resists and keeps watching her instead.

After awhile her eyes finally flicker open, and he tenses a little, worried she might scream or scramble out of bed frantically at the sight of him, but she does neither, mostly she just looks a bit confused.

"Oh God," she sighs, rubbing her forehead as she carefully sits up in bed, clearly hung over. "Did we do it last night?"

"Um, no," he says sitting up next to her, and she looks down at her fully clothed body, confirming his words. "We just slept, that's it."

"You're Finn, is that right… or was it Kenny?"

"No it's Finn, Finn Hudson," he replies. "How are you feeling, are you okay? Do you need some water or something?" And he quickly grabs the small pitcher off his night stand and pours her a glass, and she accepts it with a weak smile.

She takes a few sips of the water before speaking again. "I'm okay," she says, setting the glass down and rubbing her eyes. "I'm a little embarrassed, I don't remember much from last night. But I guess the papers will refresh my memory," she doesn't even sound particularly miffed by the possibility as she fishes her cell phone out of her purse on the nightstand, "Uh, my manager is going to kill me, I've been ignoring his phone calls since I landed. But in my defense this is supposed to at least vaguely resemble a vacation, even though I am in Ohio," she dismissively puts the phone back in her bag and sighs deeply. "I should have went to Cabo."

"So," Finn says, trying to appear as normal as possible, difficult considering the circumstances, and he knows he's stalling but he can't help it, he doesn't even know where to begin explaining to her why he's here. "Did you maybe want to-"

"Listen, Finn," She says, cutting him off. "You seem like a really nice guy, and I appreciate you not taking advantage of the situation last night, but I have a lot to do before I go back to New York and…"

"You want me to leave?" he deduces, not offended.

"If you don't mind, I mean at least you have a good story from it right? If you want to tell your friends we slept together I won't blame you, I'm sure that's what the tabloids will say anyway."

"Wait, I'm going to be in the tabloids?" he says, a bit worriedly.

"Cell phone cameras are getting better and better, everyone's a paparazzo these days, but don't worry, I'm sure they'll forget all about you in a week or so."

"Oh god," Finn says, squeezing his eyes closed, how was he going to explain this to Quinn? She was still his wife after all, but he exhales slowly and tries to push the worry away, he has more pressing concerns.

"You seem upset," She says. "That's a first. What are you married or something?"

He just looks at her, and at that her face falls. "Oh god, you _are_ married," she says, scrambling out of bed.

"It's not like that," he says, getting out behind her, raising his hands in defense. "We're separated."

"Classic excuse," she scoffs. "Now can you please continue your philandering elsewhere?"

And he smiles a little at that, not able to help it.

"What are you smiling about?" she says angrily.

"Nothing, it's just… you're the same."

"The same as what?" she says, narrowing her eyes in confusion, and he doesn't answer her, he just can't stop looking at her, if she only knew, if she only knew how much he loved her. "Why are you looking at me like that?" She rubs one arm and looks down a little, his intense stare clearly unnerving her a little.

"Rachel," he finally says, and it's time, if he doesn't say what he has to say now he'll lose her again, maybe forever. "I didn't go to your high school. I was there because I just… I had to see you."

"Listen Finn, I'm flattered that you enjoy my work but-"

"Rachel please, it's not that I like your work, I mean I do, I love it actually but that's not why I came."

"So you didn't infiltrate my high school reunion just to meet me?" She says. "Did you go for the free food and just get extra lucky?"

"We _have_ met Rachel, 12 years ago at McKinley high school."

"I can believe that, I used to compete against McKinley high school in show choir competitions, not that they were that much competition," She says. "I still don't understand what that has to do with-"

"Rachel I'm your husband," he blurts out, like ripping off a bandaid, and her eyes go wide at the declaration. "We've been married for seven years, we've been together for twelve, we have two kids, five year old Twins named Jack and Sally, we live in this craker box apartment in Queens, I'm a teacher and you're an actress, you're not famous but you should be because you're amazing, and our kids, they're amazing, and beautiful and so so smart and funny, and they love you so much and you love them," she remains silent as he rants and he steps closer to her, grabbing her hands in his, tears burning in his eyes "But four days ago I woke up in Ohio married to someone else and you didn't know who I was and everything was turned upside down, so I had to find you, I had to make things right somehow and that's why I'm here, I just had to find you and I love you, and I had to fix it, we can fix it together Rachel. We can get them back." He's still holding her hands and he can't read her expression, but he knows she's probably not thinking anything positive right now.

"Okay," Rachel says, gently prying her hands from his grasp. "I think I'm just going to call security."

"No Rachel, please," he says desperately. "I know this sounds crazy-

"Actually I've dealt with psycho fans before Finn, you're actually pretty typical," And she goes for the hotel phone and picks it up, getting ready to dial.

"Rachel you have to listen to me," he says with intensity in his voice and stare and she backs away, scared as he grabs the phone from her and slams it down on the hook.

"Oh god, you're not going to try to kill me are you?" she says as if it's a genuine concern.

"You have to believe me Rach," he says, still crying, his heart pounding faster, he's losing her, he can tell, he has to make her understand. "I can prove it, what's something nobody else would know?"

"Finn everybody knows everything there is to know about me," she says, the panic in her voice raising. And she's right, they even know what she looks like naked after that Sam Mendes movie she did last year.

"If you leave right now I won't call the police," she says, her voice breaking, and it breaks his heart to see her so afraid of him, but how else is she supposed to react?

"When you were little you used to have this recurring dream," he starts.

"Please leave my hotel room-

"You were walking through the forest with this woman," he presses on, ignoring her demand. "You couldn't see her face but somehow you knew, you just knew that it was your mother." and she's silent now, her unshed tears finally rolling down her cheeks.

"And you find this cabin deep in the woods and your mother tells you to go in and wait for her while she goes to pick blackberries for the two of you."

She raises her hand up to her mouth, shaking a little as he recalls her deepest secret to her, he was worried that she never had that dream in this universe, but he can tell from her face that she had. "And you wait there for what feels like hours until it starts to get dark out," he continues, moving closer to her, and she doesn't back away now, but she still looks utterly terrified. "And suddenly this fire breaks out in the cabin, you don't know where it comes from but it spreads so fast that you can't put it out no matter what you try, so you go for the door, trying to get it open but you're locked in, and you look out the window and you see her standing there, your mother just standing there watching it burn while you cry out for her to help you."

"Stop," she says thickly, tearfully.

"You just keep crying out, 'mom help me, mom let me out.'"

"Stop it."

"But she doesn't move, she just stands there while you scream for her to help you."

"Please stop."

"And she turns and walks away, and she doesn't look back. And the last thing you feel before you wake up are the flames burning you ski-

"Stop!" she yells. And he obliges, biting his lip in anticipation, fear, anxiety.

"Get out," she says, nearly sobbing now.

"Rachel-"

"Just leave, now before I have you arrested."

"If you were going to have me arrested you would have done it already," he says, not sounding as confident as he'd like. "But you felt something when we were together last night, something you couldn't explain."

"I was drunk," she says, her voice shaking.

"You feel it now too though, don't you?" he says, and her lack of response says it all. "What about the dream Rachel? That's not exactly something you'd share on Jimmy Kimmel," he's right, he was the only one she'd ever told, even her dads didn't know about that.

"I don't know how long you've been stalking me but you better believe that there's a restraining order in your future."

"I'm not stalking you, I'm your husband," he insists. "Rachel please don't do this, please don't push me away, I know you're hesitating because part of you believes me, I know you, I know what's in your heart. You've always had so much faith in me, even when I didn't deserve it, even when I didn't have any in myself and I love that about you Rachel, I love how you just… believe. And that's all I'm asking of you now, to just believe Rachel."

He goes silent at that point, waiting for something, some kind of sign that there's a chance for them.

"I'm only going to tell you one more time," she says. "Get out of my room and don't ever come near me again."

His heart sinks at her words, and he lets out a long sigh. "You can find me on 912 Fifth and Harriet Lima Ohio," he says, he's not going to give up, because he can't, but he has to give her some space for now. "I love you," he says once more before leaving her room.

**Stay tuned folks!**


	8. A Believer

**Sorry for the break in quick updates, I was out of town for a few days. I had a great time at Wondercon with my favorite geeks, but now it's back to my life and back to speedy chapters  
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He's not sure when the tears will stop, ever since coming home from the hotel they've been relentless, his throat burns and his head hurts and his eyes sting and they just keep coming. He knows that his mother is worried about him, he didn't say a word to her as he went to his room and locked himself away. He didn't give her much more than a barely audible one word response every time she knocked on the door, the first time to tell him that Quinn was on the phone, the second to ask if he was hungry, the third just to check up on him. For the first time since he woke up married to Quinn he feels truly hopeless, like he might actually be stuck here forever with no Jack, no Sally, and no Rachel. What's worse is that he knows, he knows that something was there, in her kiss, in the way she looked at him, the way she held him as she slept, there was something there, she just couldn't let herself believe it, and he couldn't really blame her, but that didn't make it hurt any less, if anything it hurt more.

Eventually he manages to cry himself to sleep again, he embraces sleep, it's the only time he's not hurting, but the reprieve is short lived, he wakes groggily as his door is knocked upon another time. He checks his bedside clock, it's nearly noon.

"I'm okay mom," he lies.

"Dad?" he hears behind the door, it's a small, sweet, welcome voice. And he can't help but get up from his wallowing and go to his door, he did make a promise after all, and being around Beth makes him feel better, he's not sure if it's because he needs someone to be a father to or if it's because they had a genuine connection, either way he reluctantly opens the door for her.

"Hey Driz," he says, his voice rusty. She gives him a weak smile as she enters his room, and he can tell that she's worried about him too, he wishes she wouldn't be, his problems have nothing to do with her, if anything she's the only good thing about his horrible new existence.

"Daddy, are you okay?" she says quietly.

"I'm fine kiddo, really," he answers, not wanting to burden her with his impossible issues, but he can tell she sees right through his façade.

"Are you sad about mom?" she guesses.

"How is she anyway?" he asks, he really does feel awful about how he left things with Quinn, but staying married to her never would have worked, not like this.

"She's okay," Beth says. "We actually had a really nice talk yesterday, she's still upset but I think she's kind of relieved in a way, if that makes any sense."

He simply nods.

"I'm more worried about you dad, I mean, If you left just because of what I said-

"No," he says, shaking his head. "Don't worry yourself about that. I promise I'm going to be just fine."

She doesn't look convinced and he's going to have to make up something fast. "If anything I'm sad about you."

"Why?"

"Because I guess I just feel like I failed you," it's sort of true, it's not like it was her real dad who asked for a divorce. "I wanted things to work, for your sake and now I can't help but think I screwed everything up."

"Dad, I'd be lying if I said I wanted things to be this way with you and mom, and I can't pretend like I understand adult problems, but I know how hard you tried, that's what matters."

"How did you get this smart?" he says smiling weakly. "I know you didn't get it from me." And she simply chuckles.

"So, since I'm going to be a product of a broken home I think it's only fair that you start trying to buy my love," she jokes. "What do you say to shopping?"

"I say that sounds like a plan," Finn agrees.

As nice as it is to be with Beth he can't help but worry the at he's cheating on his daughter, and he can't stop thinking about her as he and Beth scour the shops. He'll never get to go shopping with Sally, he'll never get to disapprove of a too short skirt she just has to have, or embarrass her by bickering with the clerks over the price of a handbag, he'll never get to watch her grow up. He tries to keep the tears at bay for the sake of his daughter who isn't but he knows that the second he goes home the waterfall will commence once again. He heads back to Quinn's as Beth snacks on a soft pretzel and they listen to Kelly Clarkson, Beth humming along all the while, he thinks she had a nice enough time, and if he was distant she surely understood. He chooses to stay in the car as he sees her off, he's just really not ready to face Quinn yet, especially while still recovering from last night, but he can't help but notice the stonefaced glance she gives him as she opens the door for Beth.

His mother is working the night shift at the diner, so she's already gone by the time he gets back, but she's left him a note on the refrigerator that he notices immediately.

_Chin up honey, _

_There's dinner in the microwave._

He's not hungry but he'll try to choke down some of it so she won't ask any questions, it doesn't feel right to throw it out. So he takes out the plate of pot roast, mashed potatoes and creamed spinach and begins to eat, thinking that Rachel always made excellent pot roast for a vegan, or anyone for that matter, and even if his mom's is even better he can't help but wish that Rachel had cooked it for him. Black Suit is still at large, and he can't help but miss him, at least with him around he didn't feel so alone, so confused. He knows what he would say if he were here _"what did you think was going to happen Finn?"_ still, even having someone to yell at would be nice right about now.

He gets about halfway through his meal when he hears a light knock on the door. He's not sure who it could be, maybe it's Black Suit, he thinks to himself, but he pushes the thought away, since when did Black Suit knock on doors? It was probably a neighbor returning a crock pot or something, so he lets out a groan, reluctantly gets up, switches on the porch light and looks through the peephole, his breath immediately catching in his throat and tears once again springing to his eyes at the sight of who it is. He frantically unlocks the door and yanks it open, and he simply stands there for a moment, silent as if he expects her to disappear or turn into someone else before his eyes, either of those things seem more likely then her being here right now. She looks different, he notices, underslept, eyes puffy, hair limp, face free of makeup and her usual glamorous clothes are replaced by jeans and a simple black jacket. If the tabloids caught her they'd have a field day, but seeing her now, he can't help but think she's the most beautiful girl in the world, and all he wants is to take her into his arms again. It truly terrifies him how much he needs her, how he feels so much when she's here, but the look on her face doesn't suggest love reciprocated, it looks fearful, uncertain, confused. But she's here, it has to mean something.

"Rachel," he says in almost a whisper. And she enters then, without a word, but it's not as if she would have to ask.

"I swear to god if you try anything all I have to do is say the words my bodyguard will be in here before you can lay one finger on me." Rachel says, not as confidently as she probably wanted to, her voice breaking with every word.

"I would never hurt you Rachel, ever," he says as he closes the door.

"Okay do you think you can just stop Finn, please?" she says, annoyed.

"Stop what?"

"Stop talking to me like that, like you care about me or something."

"But I do-

"But I don't know you," she snaps, cutting him off. "I've never seen you before in my life and one morning I wake up next to you in bed and you're telling me all of these things. It's insane Finn, can't you see that?"

"If that's true then why are you here?" He says. "I mean not that I'm not happy to see you, I'm so so happy to see you Rachel."

"I'm here because I have to know," she says, her voice shaking. "I have to know how you knew."

"About your dream?" he guesses.

"Just tell me how you knew," she presses on. "Please. I didn't get more than thirty minutes of sleep last night because I just couldn't wrap my mind around it, no matter how hard I try I can't figure you out and it scares me, and I thought that maybe if you could just explain it to me it will be okay, I can just go back to New York like I planned and everything will be okay."

He sighs, not knowing how to explain it to her in any way that she'll believe, he's already told her the truth, there's nothing he can do besides sticking to it. "I know because you told me," he says sadly.

"Last night, I told you when I was drunk, that must've been it," she says as if she's trying to convince herself more than anyone.

"Do you really believe that Rachel?" he sighs and he can tell by her face that she knows there's more to it than that, alcohol didn't make people do anything they wouldn't do when they were sober, and she would never share one of her deepest secrets with a total stranger. "You told me in college, we were in your dorm together after winter formal and you fell asleep, when you woke up you were crying and shaking because you had that dream for the first time since you were a little girl and I knew it was because your mom had emailed you that night and-

"Wait a minute," she says cutting him off. "I don't even know who my mother is."

"You do where I come from," he explains. "It's Shelby Corcoran."

"No," she protests. "That's insane, my old choir director is not my mother," she says, the panic rising in her voice. He didn't mean to let that slip, he was fully aware that she didn't know who her mother was in this universe, what happened differently to make Shelby not want to come forward was a mystery to him, but he'd be lying if he said that was one of his main concerns right now.

"I'm just telling you what I know," he says.

"You don't know anything," she says snappishly. "If you were really who you say you are you'd know that my children's names would be-

"Roxy Hart Hudson and Cliff Bradshaw Hudson," he says, making her eyes widen in surprise, it was another fact about Rachel that the papers knew nothing about. "Roxanne and Clifford are their middle names, but we decided on Jack and Sally because they were conceived on Christmas and born on Halloween, just seemed a little too perfect."

She nods a little, tears forming in her eyes. "That's very theatrical of them," she says, her voice breaking, he can tell she still doesn't quite believe it, or is simply too afraid of how much she does believe it, but she's here, she hasn't left, and somehow he'll make her realize that he isn't crazy.

"That's what you said then too," he says, smiling warmly.

"Finn, I don't understand any of this, I don't understand how you know these things about me," she says, beginning to pace the floor, her voice breaking with every word. "Do you have some sort of telepathic ability? Because I saw this A&E special-

"So me being able to read your mind you can believe?" He says, cutting her off.

"I don't know what to believe Finn, I'm so confused," she says tearfully, pulling at her hair a bit.

"Rachel," he says, walking up to her in two long strides, and before she can dodge him he places his hands on her shoulders, holding her in place. He stares into her eyes then, intensely, needing her to listen, and she stares back, not moving away. "I know this is hard to believe."

"It's impossible to believe Finn," she says, her voice still shaking.

"You're one of the smartest people I've ever known," he says. "I get it, your head's not letting you believe any of this." At that he hesitantly moves his hand away from her shoulder and down to her chest, feeling her heart beat and he's relieved that she doesn't push his hand away. "What is your heart saying?"

"I shouldn't be here," she says after a moment, grabbing his wrist and moving it away, and she walks past him, he doesn't follow, he has to approach this with as light a touch as possible, and he knows she's not going to make it to that door without turning back around. And he's right.

"God, what do you want from me? Why are you doing this?" she cries, turning back around to face him. "Do you think this is some kind of game? Get the famous train wreck to trust you so you can get your fifteen minutes, is that it?"

"That's not what this is about," he says calmly.

"I shouldn't be here," she repeats. "I shouldn't believe you, but… God why do I believe you?" she continues, anguished. "This is all so messed up."

"So you do, you do believe me?" he says his heart swelling with joy as he walks up to her again.

"Don't," she says, stopping him with one hand. "Just don't, okay?"

"But you just said-

"I know what I said," she interrupts. "That doesn't change the fact that I don't know you."

"But you said you believe me."

"But it doesn't make any sense for me to believe you," she says. "I want to walk away and forget anything ever happened between us but then you look at me and… I mean, the way you look at me it's just so…"

"So what?" he says, urging her on.

"I've had fans and stalkers and, and… I had Jesse," she says miserably. "And nobody has ever looked at me the way that you do. And I just don't understand how you can do that… unless, I mean…" She trails off, she's clearly still freaked out, and he hates that she's so mixed up about this, but still, she said that she believed him, on some level she believed him, because underneath it all she was still Rachel, and Rachel always believed in him, no matter what.

"I don't mean to look at you this way, it's just the way I always look at you," he explains. "This is the face of the man who's loved you every day for the past twelve years, who's loved you since before he even knew what love felt like."

He moves closer as he speaks, wiping a stray tear away from her face as she stares up at him, utterly transfixed. And before he knows it her own hand reaches up to touch his face, she runs her fingers over his cheek and her thumb over his lips, her stare burning into him, as if she's studying him, trying to reach into the deepest, darkest corners of her mind to remember him somehow, and he closes his eyes and kisses her thumb softly, a force of habit, but she doesn't recoil. "I still do Rachel, I love you."

"Finn," she whispers. "Even if you are who you say you are, even if you are my husband, I'm not your wife, I'm not the girl you loved."

"But you are," he says, opening his eyes again.

"No," she says, dropping her hand and shaking her head. "You wouldn't love me if you really knew me, not like this."

"Now what _you're _saying is impossible," he says softly, placing a careful hand on her waist and moving her closer. And his heart pounds as he moves in, afraid that she might back away, but she doesn't, and their lips touch.

**Admit it, if a guy who looked like Cory Monteith claimed to be your husband from another universe you probably wouldn't need that much convincing either. Stay tuned folks!**


	9. Story Of Our Lives

**Just a warning, this is going to be a very sad, angsty chapter, and it's kind of going to get worse before it gets better. Sorry in advance.**

He can taste her tears as he kisses her, he can feel her shaking in his arms, it's like she's letting him feel everything she's feeling, her fear and uncertainty, and something else he can't place.

"Finn," she says, breathless, pulling her lips away from his, her hands cupping his face as she searches his eyes. "I- I don't…"

"Rachel," he says seriously. "It's okay, everything's okay, I'm not going to hurt you."

"I know I just, I feel like." and she breaks down at that point, crying and hyperventilating, and he knows that this is a lot for her to take in in one day. "I'm sorry, this is just all so much."

"It's okay," he repeats, wiping away her hot tears with his thumbs. "Whatever questions you have I'm here, I'm right here sweetheart."

She nods and separates herself from his embrace, he doesn't push it, he stands there watching her as she paces the floor.

"Can your bodyguard still hear everything," he says.

"There was never any bodyguard," she says. "I came here alone." He nods, he won't say it out loud but that makes him feel good, trusted.

"What are they like?" she says after a moment, stopping to face him again. "Jack and Sally, what are they like?"

Where can he even begin? He thinks to himself, and he smiles warmly as he thinks of them. "Well Jack looks just like you, but he's tall like me and Sally looks more like me but she's tiny like you," he starts, and he thinks he sees a ghost of a smile on her face, so he continues. "And they're both so smart Rachel, Sally, she's our little bookworm, I mean she never lets me read to her, she makes me sit there while she reads to me, Dr. Suess is her favorite, she likes the one with all of the hats, she must've read it to me like fifty times, and every time she gets stuck on a word and I try to sound it out for her she shushes me, but it's adorable, trust me." She's listening intently, so he keeps going. "And Jack loves math, don't know where he got it from, but he's five and he's already adding and subtracting big numbers, he has to use his fingers sometimes but hardly ever, he says he wants to get really good so he can be like Tony Stark and take over the world. I think he might have misunderstood Iron Man a little bit. And they argue all of the time, about everything, but you can tell just by the way they are with each other how much they love each other, they won't admit it but they're best friends, they do everything together, and they like to use their psychic twin powers to talk to each other when they're trying to pretend they're asleep at night. It's mostly just them whispering really quietly though." She laughs a little through her tears as he speaks, and he knows that she believes him more and more with each word and now he's the one that's crying, trying to keep his voice still as he talks about their babies. "And every night, before they go to sleep they ask us to sing for them."

"They like music?" she says, lighting up a little bit.

"Well, you're their mom," he says simply.

"I'm a mom," she says quietly, as if she's reminding herself and she backs up slowly, falling onto the chair. Finn walks up to her, kneeling down in front of her and placing his hands on her knees. "I've always wanted to be a mom."

"You're a great mom Rachel. And your children, they love you, they love you so much."

"How did this happen?" she asks, and the truth is he was wondering when that would finally come up.

"I just wanted you to be a star," he explains. "To have your dream, I just didn't realize it would mean erasing mine."

"What was your dream?" she says, her voice breaking.

He looks at her seriously as his heart breaks little by little. "You."

He's a bit taken aback when she leans in and kisses him this time, but his lips soften under hers and he reaches out and places his hands on her face. They stay like that for awhile, kissing each other as if they had been doing it for years, even though for her it had only been a day, and her lips move across his face, his cheek and his chin and he moves his hands from her face and wraps his arms around her, she's still trembling, and he wishes he knew what to do to make her feel less scared besides letting her kiss him and kissing her back.

"I'm sorry, I don't know what this is, or what I'm doing," she says tearfully against his mouth.

"It's okay Rachel, this isn't new to me."

"But it is," she says, breaking free from his embrace. "You don't know me anymore Finn, I'm not the girl you fell in love with."

"We can get to know each other again, we can," he insists, and she simply shakes her head.

"No, no Finn," she says. "You look at me and you want to be seeing her, but I'm not her."

"I know, okay?" he says. "About Jesse, about everything, but those things, those bad things about your past, they aren't you."

"But they are," she protests. "I used to be strong, I was, I was strong, but I just let life beat me down to nothing and that's what I am now, I'm nothing but a voice."

"No, stop it Rachel," he says frantically, placing his hands on her shoulders. "You're everything to me."

She just stares at him, so much sadness in her eyes.

"I really love you don't I?" she says after a few moments. "You make me happy."

"I thought I did," he says. "I want to."

"No, you do," she insists. "I can tell, and I can tell that you deserve someone that would make you happy, but I can't, I'll destroy you Finn, just like Jesse."

"What happened to Jesse wasn't your fault baby," He says softly, touching her hair. "He had problems."

"And so did I," she say brokenly. "I couldn't help him, I can't even help myself."

And he thinks about her words in the bathroom that night, the haunting words he couldn't let himself believe, and he wordlessly reaches out for her sleeve.

"No, don't" she says, pulling it down defensively.

"Trust me," he says, looking sincerely into her eyes, and she reluctantly nods, releasing her sleeve, her hand shaking. He's afraid of what he's going to see when he rolls it up, but he swallows hard and continues pushing the material back slowly, and when he sees it his heart sinks immediately.

"Oh my God," he says under his breath as he sees the track marks tainting his beloved's skin, and he's instantly reminded of his father, taken from this world by the horrors of drugs, and he knows that he should be angry, pissed, throwing things, but all he wants to do is hold her, all he wants to do is make it okay again.

"I'm so ashamed," she cries. "It wasn't supposed to be like this, I was supposed to be… more."

"You are," he says, stroking her hair again. "You're so much more than this Rachel." And he's not sure why, but he bends down then and begins to pepper kisses over her arm, making her cry even more, and he can feel her hands stroking his hair and her lips touch his head.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry that I'm not what you expected Finn," she says.

"I want to help you," he says looking up at her again. "Just let me help you."

"You can never have me back the way I was, I'm too broken," she says.

"I don't care what you've been through or what you've done Rachel," he says frustrated. "I just want you. "

"That's really beautiful," she says. "But I know it's not true, you didn't just lose me Finn, you lost them too, and I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry."

He doesn't know if he should bring up the possibility of bringing them back, he doesn't know if she trusts him enough for that yet.

"You have nothing to be sorry about," he says. "I did this."

"No, you don't understand," She says. "When I said I'm not the girl you loved, I meant it. I'm not a mom Finn, I can never be a mom."

"You don't know that," he argues. "You can still have it all."

"Maybe there was a reason I never got to be a star where you come from," she says. "Maybe I wasn't meant to have it all."

"I don't understand," he says.

"The night I broke up with Jesse… something happened, something that the papers don't know about."

"What happened," he says, worriedly.

"It wasn't his fault, he didn't mean to hurt me, he was just so desperate to get me to stay, he kept pleading, telling me that he was going to change, that he'd do anything… and."

"Did he hit you Rachel?" Finn says, anger in his heart towards the dead man.

"No, he never hit me," she says. "We were on top of the stairs and he was crying and there was so much yelling…" her face looks so anguished as she speaks and he begins to feel a bit scared at where this is going.

"And I was just so sick of looking at him, I was ready to get my life back, to be myself again, see my dads again because I needed them so much and they wouldn't talk to me, I had to leave, I just had to, even though I loved him I had to leave him."

"You did the right thing Rachel."

"But he needed me and I just abandoned him, and he knew it, I turned away and he grabbed my arm, like one final plea, and his face, he was so hurt, and I just jerked away… and I fell, I fell down the stairs. But it wasn't his fault, it was an accident."

She's still making excuses for him, even after his death, he has a feeling she did that a lot when he was alive too.

"But you were okay right?" he says, fear in his voice. And when she shakes her head his heart begins to hammer in his chest.

"I can never be a mom Finn," she says, the words taking on an entirely new, heartbreaking meaning. He thinks his heart may have stopped at her words, he thinks everything has stopped. And the tears overflow falling over his still face as he tries to fathom her words. If she can never have children… No, it can't be true, they can't be gone, this isn't the way it was supposed to happen.

"Finn, I'm so sorry," she says, getting up. "But I can't be who you need me to be." he must still be in shock, because it takes him until she gets to the door to realize that she's trying to leave. It really is too much for her.

"No," he says, weakly at first. "Please," he says a little stronger as he gets up from the floor and towards Rachel. "Please don't go."

"Finn, I-

"Stay, please," he says practically sobbing. "I just, I can't lose you too, please don't leave."

Her face softens at his words and she reaches out to wipe his tears, her hand so gentle on his face. He looks at her, and he can't take how much he loves her, after everything that has happened she can never know how completely she has his heart, and she's the only one who can give him anything resembling comfort right now. His children are gone, and his wife doesn't remember him, and his entire life has just unraveled before his eyes, except for her, she's the only sliver of hope he has left.

"Okay," she says tearfully. "I'll stay, I'll stay with you."

He pulls her into his arms then, sobbing powerfully into her shoulder as she hugs him and strokes his back.

"I love you Rachel," he says. "You don't have to say it back, I just need you to know."

"I know Finn," she says. "I'm so sorry."

**Stay tuned folks!**


	10. Withdrawal

She likes moments like this, sitting on the couch in comfortable silence with her mother, they both decided to play hooky today, just this once. She can tell that Quinn is still hurting, just like her dad, but she knows that things will get better before long, she has to believe it. She lays her head upon her mother's shoulder as Quinn absentmindedly strokes the child's blonde hair and they watch trash TV and eat popcorn. It's a nice moment, the kind she's always wanted with her mother, always so angry before, and maybe she's still angry, maybe she'll always be a little angry about the directions her life has taken, but for now she's just a mother stroking her daughter's hair.

"Mom?" Beth says softly.

"Hmm?" Quinn murmurs.

"Did you always know you were going to sell houses? I mean, is that what you wanted to do when you were young?"

"Not really," Quinn replies. "I actually thought about acting from time to time, you know, just daydreams."

"You would have made a really good actress," Beth says. "You're prettier than all of the other moms, and you're a really good crier."

"You're sweet," Quinn says, kissing the top of her daughter's head. "But not everyone can be an Emma Stone or a Rachel Berry."

"Well at least you're not a drug addict like Rachel Berry," Beth says shrugging.

"Huh, speak of the devil," Quinn says, turning up the TV Slightly at the next E news report.

"_Does Rachel Berry have a new man in her life? The troubled 28 year old superstar was caught on camera leaving her ten year high school reunion with a handsome mystery man-"_

"Oh my god," Quinn says, pressing pause on the DVR, an image of Finn and Rachel leaving the reunion together, his arm around her waist and her hanging on him for dear life frozen on the TV. "Is that…

"Dad?" Beth finishes.

"I can't believe this," Quinn says angrily. "We aren't even divorced yet."

"Maybe it's not what it looks like," Beth says.

"All I know is I'm going over there right now," Quinn says, shutting off the TV and shooting up from the couch.

"I'm coming with you."

"No Beth I really don't think that's a good-"

"That's my dad," Beth argues. "I'm coming with you."

* * *

><p>She fell asleep to the sound of him crying, now his tears have stopped for the time being and she's awake again, looking at him with that now familiar searching look as she lays across from him, and he thinks of what to do next, he doesn't have a plan, but he has Rachel, who stayed with him and held him as he cried over a loss that she couldn't possibly understand. He's so grateful for her, so grateful that underneath it all, the Rachel of this world is as kind and tender and beautiful as the one he left behind. And maybe she needs him as much as he needs her, she's starting to shake a bit, and sweat shines on her skin, and he knows enough about addicts to know what that means.<p>

"Are you okay?" he says softly.

"Yeah, it's not that bad yet," she says, struggling to say the words. "I've done this before, it gets worse."

"I'll get you whatever you need, just ask and I'll do it." he says.

"I think I need to go to rehab," she says, her voice shaking along with her tiny body. "God I'm such a cliché."

"I'll take you, If you want." he says.

"I want to stay here a little longer if that's okay."

"Sure."

"I still have questions," she continues. "About where you came from."

"Okay, what do you want to know?"

"My mom, I know her," she says as a statement rather than a question. "Are we close?"

"You know her, but you don't talk much," he explains. "Cards on holidays and stuff."

"That's better than nothing I suppose," she says. "I wonder why Shelby never told me she was my mother."

He can guess why, Shelby knew her in this universe, she knew how close she was with her dads, how special and bright and happy she was before her whole life went off the rails. It was easy to throw her life into upheaval when she didn't see her every day. When she didn't grow to care for her. He explains this to her as delicately as possible, and she simply nods a little.

"I _was _happy," she says. "Do I talk to my dads?"

"They moved to New York to be closer to us and the kids," he explains, his heart aching a little at the words. "You talk all the time."

"What about Jesse?" she continues. "Is he alive where you come from?"

"Yeah," he says softly after a bit of hesitation. "He's alive."

"Is he happy? Is he okay?"

"Are you sure you want to know all of this Rachel?"

"I do, I know it won't change anything, but I want to know."

Finn nods and prepares himself to speak. "He's a teacher, like me, and he's married to a cop, they have a kid on the way."

She smiles a bit at that. "So he's happy?"

"He's very happy," Finn sighs. "Especially when he beat me at nationals."

She nods and he can see the tears beading in her eyes, he reaches out to wipe at them. "I'm sorry you lost him Rachel."

"Yeah," she says, still shaking, both from emotion and the withdrawal symptoms that are becoming increasingly intense. "Me too."

"You don't have to end up like him," Finn says. "You can beat this thing."

"I don't know why I did it," she cries. "I guess I wanted to feel closer to him or something, to understand him. And then, it just felt good you know? Like everything was okay for awhile, there was no loneliness, no pressure from everybody, no stress constantly on me, and when it stopped being okay I had to do it again and again until I just couldn't stop… it was just so stupid."

"You're not stupid Rachel," he says firmly. "But you can't keep punishing yourself for what happened to Jesse, you can't keep hurting yourself. You deserve better than that."

"And you deserve better than me," she says. "I've done so much, I've hurt so many people. My dads can't even look at me anymore."

"No Rachel, shh," he says, moving in to kiss her. "You're going to be alright, you're strong, you've always been so strong."

"Are _you_ going to be alright?" she says, reaching out to touch his face.

"I don't know," he says, tears reaching his eyes again. "I miss them so much Rachel."

"I miss them and I don't even know them," she says. "I think in a way I've always missed them… and you."

"Well I'm here," he says. "I'll always be here."

She smiles weakly, she's going to get worse, she's already getting worse, she's shaking harder now and making the sheets damp with her sweat. He doesn't want this, he doesn't want her to suffer, but he knows it's the only way she's going to get better.

"Finn! I'm home sweetie, are you here?"

At the sound of his mom's voice he presses his finger to his lips. He'll explain to his mother why she's here, but he'll have to approach it delicately. Either way it's not going to be easy.

"I'll be right back okay?" at that he kisses her and gets out of bed.

He finds his mom in the kitchen, exhausted after her twelve hour shift but wearing a weak smile.

"I see you're not dressed for work," Carole says teasingly. "You know they're not going to let you get away with it for too much longer."

"Mom, I have to tell you something, and it's going to sound crazy but-

"Finn Hudson!" a familiar, angry voice sounds from behind the door interrupting his attempted confession. "You open this door right now!"

"Is that Quinn?" Carole says.

"Oh god," Finn says under his breath. He knew this was coming, he had been avoiding the news himself, but it was only a matter of time before Quinn stumbled upon a piece about his exploits on Friday. He heads for the door and takes a deep breath before opening it, and allowing Quinn and surprisingly, Beth to charge in.

"What the hell is going on with you Finn?" Quinn says.

"So I guess you saw the news," Finn says sheepishly, he wants to tell her to keep her voice down, but he can't imagine that will help matters any, he just hopes that Rachel stays where she is and he can explain all of this to her later.

"What the hell were you doing with her Finn, you realize you're still married right?"

"Quinn, what's the matter honey?" Carole says

"Your son's a cheating bastard that's what's the matter," Quinn shoots back.

"Quinn, I can explain," Finn says.

"I'd love to hear this," Quinn says. "Explain, explain to your daughter why you're all over the news with another woman, explain to her why you're content to humiliate your only child like this, how is she going to face her friends now? Or are you still trying to claim that she's not yours."

"Quinn!" Finn snaps, not believing that she'd let something like that slip. "I know you're mad but that's not cool."

"What is she talking about dad?" Beth says. "What does she mean I'm not yours?"

"Beth she didn't mean that okay," Finn says. "I mean, that's not what I meant when I said that."

"What?" Beth and Carole say at the same time.

"Are you trying to deny it now Finn, huh?" Quinn continues. "What did you think you'd be free to screw around with trampy celebrities if you didn't have us to tie you down?"

"Quinn please, not in front of Beth okay," he says, Beth is crying now, and he so wishes it wouldn't have happened this way. "Beth, look I-"

"No dad, tell me the truth," she says, cutting him off angrily. "Did you really say that you're not my dad?"

He hesitates for a moment, trying to find the best way to say the impossible words.

"I _am_ your dad," Finn finally says, and at that he sighs deeply, knowing that he has to say it sometime. "But I'm not your father, Noah Puckerman is your father."

"Oh my god," Carole says, placing her hand over her mouth.

"Beth I'm sorry," he says, taking a step toward her, but she pulls away, darting out of the door without another word.

"Beth!" Finn yells after her.

"I'll go after her," Carole says. "You two better talk this out right now, you should both be ashamed." And as she goes after Beth Quinn shoots him a glare that could freeze beer.

"Nice Finn," Quinn says.

"Why did you have to say that?" Finn says angrily.

"You said it first," Quinn argues.

"It's true, you know it's true Quinn," Finn says. "What's the point in lying about it anymore?"

"Is that what this whole Rachel Berry thing is about?" Quinn says. "Are you trying to get back at me for something you're so convinced I did all of a sudden?"

"Rachel has nothing to do with you or Beth okay," Finn insists. "The day I told you that you weren't my wife and Rachel was, I wasn't lying about that."

"I can't believe you're going back to that."

"Try to listen to me Quinn, really try. Why would I make this up?"

She doesn't answer right away, instead her gaze goes to something behind him, and her eyes go wide in surprise. "Wow, this just keeps getting better and better doesn't it?" Quinn says, and Finn turns to look at what Quinn is looking at, and he sees Rachel there, her arms wrapped around her body, her face pale, her hair matted against her forehead, her face confused.

"Is this your wife?" Rachel says.

"So you know?" Quinn says. "I guess the rags are right, you really are a slut."

"Quinn please," Finn says angrily.

"Do you realize that this man has a family?" Quinn says, ignoring Finn, "He has a daughter who's heartbroken because of you."

"That's not true Rach," Finn says frantically.

"Rach? How cute," Quinn spits. "Why are you even here, shouldn't you be off somewhere snorting coke off of Charlie Sheen?'

"Quinn enough!" he yells, making her jump in surprise. "I'm sorry I hurt you but there are bigger things going on right now, I promise I'll explain everything but right now I really need you to leave."

"Are you kidding me Finn? Please tell me you're kidding." Quinn says in disbelief.

"No, she doesn't have to," Rachel says brokenly. "I'll go."

"No Rachel please don't do this," he says, cutting past Quinn. "Nothing has changed okay?"

"You're married," she says. "You have a daughter."

"I know but-"

"Finn, everything you told me, it's so beautiful, it is. But it's impossible," She says tearfully. "We can't just pick up where we left off, I don't even know where I left off and you, you have this life that has nothing to do with me."

"But I love you," he says tearfully. "I can't just turn that off. I love you so much Rachel."

Her face crumples in anguish at that point, and he hates himself for everything that has happened in the past few minutes.

"I think part of me loves you too Finn," she says, reaching out to touch his face, and he can feel her hand tremoring against his cheek. "I mean, ever since I saw you I knew. But I can't do this… I just can't."

"Rachel you can't go, you need help, you're sick."

She cups his face and silences him with a lingering kiss, tasting his bitter tears. An eternity letter she breaks it. "Goodbye Finn."

She doesn't allow him to say anything else, she moves as fast as her weakened body will allow, darting out of the door as he stands there, trying to process what just happened.

"Finn please tell me what's going on," Quinn says quietly, clearly thrown by what just happened in front of her. "I mean, it can't be true, you're not really…"

"Quinn, I didn't mean to hurt you," he says again. "I really didn't. I just, I don't know how to do this, I don't know how to just be okay with waking up and everything being different, so I tried to make it work, I tried, but all I did was screw things up more, because that's what I do, that's what I've always done."

"Finn I'm sorry I didn't, I mean," She can't seem to find the words, how could she? She narrows her eyes at him, trying to see something different in him, some sort of evidence that he is who he says he is. "Is that how you knew, about Puck? Are you really not my husband?"

"No, I'm hers," He says. "And I just lost her again."

"What are you going to do?" Quinn says in almost a whisper, still perplexed to say the least.

"I have to go after her," and at that he charges through the door, just as Rachel speeds off in her car and out of his life again.

**Jesse being married to a cop is going to be a thing in all of my futurefics since I wrote _Meant For Each Other?_ I just love the idea. One chapter and an epilogue to go, Stay tuned folks!**


	11. The Life She Chose

**A/N: I really don't see myself finishing So We Meet Again, I just don't know where I'm going with it. Also I have so much on my plate right now. I might finish it sometime in the future, but for now I just don't see it happening. Sorry to everyone reading that story. But on the bright side here's a new chapter of this fic, the last one before the epilogue.**

_Hello there the angel from my nightmare/The shadow in the background of the morgue/The unsuspecting victim of darkness in the valley/We can live like Jack and Sally if we want/Where you can always find me/And we'll have Halloween on Christmas/And in the night we'll wish this never ends/We'll wish this never ends_

_I miss you... I miss you...I miss you... I miss you_

_Where are you? and I'm so sorry/I cannot sleep I cannot dream tonight/I need somebody and always/This sick strange darkness/Comes creeping on so haunting every time/And as I stared I counted/The Webs from all the spiders/Catching things and eating their insides/Like indecision to call you/and hear your voice of treason/Will you come home and stop the pain tonight/Stop this pain tonight_

"This song is so depressing," Quinn says, shutting off the CD player, he welcomes it, she's right, as fitting as the lyrics are he can't stand to listen to them anymore. "Haven't you had enough of that today?"

It's true, Beth still won't talk to him, so Carole agreed to let her stay the night while him and Quinn talked it out, the nature of the talking it out just wasn't what she probably thought. They sip coffee at the counter while Finn gives her the details of the life he left behind, and for the first time since he woke up next to her in bed, she listens intently.

"Do we talk at all, where you come from?"

"No, you're too busy being super famous," Finn says, answering Quinn with the closest thing to a playful smirk he can manage.

"I'm famous?" she says. Her eyes brightening a little.

"America's sweetheart," he adds, taking another sip of his coffee.

"So, I'm an actress?" She says, a small smile on her face. "I always thought that was just a pipe dream."

"You're really good," He says. "Especially in your crying scenes."

"Well, I just hope I'm a better actress than I am a mother," She sighs lowly.

"You're not a bad mother," he insists. "Beth loves you."

"And I love her too," Quinn says. "But I don't show it. I yell, I'm impatient, I resent my own child for how my life turned out, a good mother doesn't do that. She also doesn't lie for years about who her father is."

"Well, maybe that's why I'm here, maybe it's my chance to make things right."

She narrows her eyes then in contemplation, "Or maybe it's like that movie, _It's A Wonderful Life_," She says. "Maybe things were already right and you just didn't know it, maybe Rachel wasn't meant to have it all. Maybe she was happy the way things were."

"You didn't see her the way I did, she was miserable Quinn."

"Maybe right then, she was disappointed, sure, but she had you, she had her children, she had love to help her through it. What does she have here but a tragic past and a drug problem?"

"So you're saying I should go back, knowing everything that I know now?" Finn says. "I can't go back Quinn, even if I could, not only will Rachel not have her dreams but you won't have Beth."

Quinn bites her lip and nods after a bit of hesitation. "That's true," Quinn says. "But what about your kids?"

His heart aches again at the mention of them. "I don't know, I know it seems hopeless but I can't just let them go, I have to find a way."

"Well, there's surrogacy, Rachel's rich, she can afford it," Quinn says, shrugging.

"I just have to get her to talk to me again first."

"She will," Quinn says, reaching for his hand, and he smiles as she squeezes it gently. "She's already in love with you again, I could tell when you were together."

He knits his brow then as she smiles at him encouragingly and he pulls his hand away. "Wait, why are you being so nice to me about all of this?"

"Are you kidding me Finn?" Quinn says. "Do you know how rarely anything ever happens in my world? She continues. "Now you show up talking about alternate universes and mysterious wish-granting men in black. For once having a Cosmo with Sandra from yoga isn't the most exciting thing to happen to me all week."

"Well in any case, thank you," He says.

"So, is there anyone special in my life?" she says. "You know, in this other reality of yours?"

"I think you're dating a director but you're really secretive about it."

"Wow, I'm famous without being an attention whore," Quinn says dreamily. "Amazing."

"Well I don't know about that," he jokes. "I mean there was that dress you wore to the Emmys"

"What kind of dress?" she says. "Was it Lady Gaga insane?"

"Well I don't remember ever seeing Lady Gaga's nipples in _that_ much detail."

"Oh my god," she chuckles, burying her face in her hands in embarrassment. "Well that's one thing I'm glad I missed out on."

"Do you really think I can find her?" he says after a few silent moments, his face falling again. "I don't know her number, she's not in her hotel room, I have no idea what my next move is."

"Finn, she's famous," Quinn says. "Famous people don't stay hidden for long." She checks her watch, it's about ten thirty, which means the celebrity news should be on soon if not already. Quinn turns in her barstool and clicks on the television in the den, and just as they suspect, footage of Rachel comes up immediately on the channel 4 News, but when he reads the adjoining headline his breath catches in his throat and hot tears spring to his eyes and he has to squeeze them shut and open them again to make sure he isn't seeing things. But it's still there on the bottom of the screen.

_Rachel Berry 1994-2022_

"Finn?" Quinn says looking sideways at him, placing a gentle hand on his shoulder. "Finn I don't… I'm sorry."

The dry, emotionless voice of the newscaster is saying something about Rachel being found dead in her hotel room, and how they're not sure if drugs were involved, but he doesn't hear Quinn or the words coming out of the television, only static as if his mind can't process anything happening around him after reading that headline.

"Finn?" She repeats.

Without another word he scrambles up from the barstool and out of the door, Quinn calls after him but he doesn't respond, he just runs, blinded by the darkness and his own tears, he runs, the gravel hurting his feet, he runs until he's far enough away, far enough from that television, far enough from Quinn, far enough to scream at the top of his lungs for answers.

"Where are you?" he shouts, tears burning his throat. "Huh? Where are you you son of a bitch? Answer me! Answer me!"

At that he collapses onto the ground, shaking and crying uncontrollably. This is wrong, this is all wrong, Rachel can't be dead, she was going to get better, everything was going to get better, he was going to make sure of it, because there had to be a reason he was sent here, why would black suit send him here only to make everything fall apart like this? Was he being punished for something? Was this hell? Did black suit kill him outside of the school? That had to be it, him being dead he could accept, but not her, not Rachel.

"Please," he says bitterly, tearfully. "Please talk to me, I know you're there."

"Not what you expected is it?" at the now familiar voice Finn opens his eyes and looks up at Black Suit, illuminated only slightly by the glow of the moon and his cigarette, but enough for Finn to get instantly furious at the sight of him. He scrambles up and tackles the man to the ground, slamming him against gravel by his lapels.

"Why?" Finn fumes, right in Black Suits face. "Why her? Why would you do this?"

"She did this to herself Finn," Black Suit insists.

"No!" Finn says sharply, slamming Black Suit into the ground once more before rolling off of him, too weak with grief to continue attacking the man. "She wouldn't do that, she was going to get better."

"Finn, trying to give up heroin isn't like going on a diet," Black suit says, sitting up and lighting another cigarette. "One slip off the wagon can kill you."

"But-

"But what?" Black suit says, cutting him off. "Rachel had problems, serious ones, and maybe she would have gotten better eventually, but her troubles ran too deep for you to fix them in one day."

"Then why did you send me here?" Finn says miserably. "I wanted things to be better for her, this isn't better, she's, she." He dissolves into tears again at that point, choking on his words.

"You wanted her to have her dreams, and she did," Black Suit insists. "She'll be remembered forever now, her life, her work, who would have remembered her where you came from?"

"I would have," He says sharply. "Her kids would have, everyone who's lives she touched would have. Rachel wasn't a nobody, she was special, she was… she was a star."

"Hmm," Black Suit says, taking another long drag of his cigarette. "If only you would have figured that out then."

He knits his brow in confusion, "What are you talking about?"

"You know Finn, Rachel is a lot like you," Black suit says. "The last thing she was thinking before she died was how she wished you could go back. She wished that she could live in the world you described to her."

"She wished that?"

"She did, you see Finn, Rachel chose you for a reason, and whether famous or not, troubled or not, she would choose you every time."

"What does it matter?" He says bitterly. "She's gone. It's too late, it's over."

"Is that so?"

He looks at Black Suit again, confused, and it's hard to make out in the darkness but he thinks he sees him pulling out the same club from that day, but before he can confirm it he feels that sharp blow to the side of his head once again. And the blackness of the night goes even blacker.

* * *

><p>"Daddy?"<p>

"Dad? Are you okay."

His head hurts, even more than the morning he woke up in Quinn's bed, and as he slowly pries his eyes open the sunlight makes it hurt even more, but as his eyes adjust to the light he slowly begins to make out the two figures hovering above him. One looks like him, right down to the sweet peppering of freckles over her pale skin, only she's tiny like Rachel, and the other looks like Rachel, including the brown eyes as big as saucers, only he's tall like him.

"Mr. Hudson, do you need medical attention?" He recognizes the voice, it's Mrs. Offerman, the kid's teacher. The kids…

"Daddy," she says softly as he slowly sits up, staring the small girl right in the face, his gaze then goes to the boy, the worried expression on his face matches his sister's and soon it becomes apparent why, he hasn't said a word, he's just been staring at them for the past few minutes.

"That's it I'm calling your wife," Mrs. Offerman says, getting out her cell phone.

"Daddy, are you hurt?"

He still hasn't said anything, perhaps he's afraid that if he says anything they'll disappear before his eyes again, he thinks they already are, the image of their faces begins to blur, but then he realizes it's just because his eyes are flooded with tears. He blinks, making them spill over, and he looks at them again, their faces once again clear, and he reaches out to run a hand over Sally's soft, sandy colored hair, and another lands on Jack's messy, dark brown hair.

"Dad?" Jack says, looking more confused than ever, and at that, not being able to stand it anymore, he pulls both of them into his embrace and kisses their heads as he cries heaving sobs filled with emotions he can't describe.

"Dad, you're being weird," Jack says.

"I know, I just missed you both so much," He cries, finally able to form words.

"But you saw us this morning," Sally says, pronouncing her Rs like Ws. They don't know, they have no idea how he managed to erase them off the face of the earth without meaning to, but none of that matters now, they're here in his arms again and Rachel…

"Rachel!" He says once again pulling away to face his children. "Your mom, is she okay?"

"Why wouldn't she be?" Jack says, shrugging.

"Mr. Hudson, I have your wife on the phone," Mrs. Offerman says, her voice still concerned. He finally gets up from the ground and frantically grabs the phone from her.

"Hello, Rachel? Baby are you alright, is everything alright?"

"Am _I _alright?" Rachel says, her voice breaking, why is her voice breaking? She's okay isn't she? "Finn Mrs. Offerman said that she found you passed out outside the school, are you okay sweetheart?"

"I'm fine Rachel," he says enthusiastically, happy tears choking back his words. "I'm better than fine, I'm great."

"Oh thank god," she says. "I'm still taking you to the doctor, I won't take no for an answer."

"Anything, anything you want baby."

"Now can you please come home? I need to see you."

"I'll be right there," he says, it pains him to hang up the phone, but the sooner he hangs up the sooner he can see Rachel again.

"Thanks Mrs. Offerman," he says, handing her the phone back and giving her a grateful, enthusiastic hug.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Mrs. Offerman says.

"I'm perfect I have to go see my wife now," He says, and he turns his gaze back down to his children, still standing there looking at him like he's insane, but he doesn't care, they can think he's crazy all they want, he's never letting them go ever again.

"Hey Sally, how about a piggy back ride?" He says, and the little girl's look of confusion turns into one of elation with just those words, kids are so easy.

* * *

><p>"Rachel? Baby?" Finn says as he enters their apartment, letting Sally down from his back and letting go of Jack's hand, and then Rachel appears from her room, a smile gracing her beautiful features. She looks the same as she did, her face full and healthy, her eyes bright, her skin flawless. It's like she's come back from the dead right before his eyes, and he's never loved her more.<p>

"Finn, why are you crying sweetheart?" she says, coming up to him and brushing his tears away with her thumbs.

"He's being weird today." Jack says. "Come on Sally, lets play Transformers."

"Transformers are stupid," Sally shoots back

"They are not."

Finn's smile grows wider at the familiar sound of them bickering as they make their way to their toy box in the living room, and he looks once again at Rachel.

"I'm so sorry about today Finn," she says.

"No I'm sorry," he replies. "You have no idea how sorry I am Rachel. I screwed everything up."

"Finn what are you talking about?" She says. "Nothing is screwed up. I love you, I love the kids, I love my life, why can't you see that?"

"I should have known that, but when I came home you were crying and..."

"I'm sorry you had to see that," She says. "I was just frustrated, I just needed you to rub my shoulders and give me one of your super sexy pep talks," at that she closes the distance between them in a kiss that sets Finn's entire body on fire and his mind at ease, he's home, he's really home.

"I'm sorry I didn't deliver on that, but I promise I will from now on, any time you need me."

"Well, I wouldn't worry about that," she says, an enthusiastic smile reaching her face. "I got the part Finn!"

"What?" Finn says, his face brightening.

"_Promises, Promises_, I got it!"

He lets out a hearty laugh and picks her up in his arms, swinging her around the room before putting her down and kissing her again, never wanting to stop.

"That's amazing Rachel, I'm so proud of you," he says happily, breaking the kiss. "But I thought-

"As it turns out the casting director thought I was so good he only needed to see me for thirty seconds," she beams, cutting him off. "He said he knew I was their Fran from the moment I opened my mouth."

"Of course he did," Finn says.

"So after we get you checked out what do you say we go out to celebrate, just the six of us?"

"The six of us?"

"Well I can't forget my dads, and Kurt we have to bring Kurt… Oh, and Blaine."

"Okay, just the _eight_ of us, that sounds great babe." he says.

"I have to call everyone, oh god I have to call your mother."

"And Burt right?" I say, just to make sure.

"Of course, why would I tell Carole without telling her husband?"

"Just checking," he says.

He watches her as she dials the phone, her face lit up with happiness, and maybe she'll never have an EGOT, maybe she won't have platinum records or get to host Saturday Night Live or command millions of dollars per movie, but she's happy, she has love, and family and the music she loves so much, maybe she really does have it all.

**April Fools! A new chapter of So We Meet Again should be up by tomorrow or the next day. Song is I Miss You by Blink 182. Stay tuned for the Epilogue Folks!**


	12. We Belong

**And Welcome to the last chapter. Thank you all for following this story, I loved every minute of writing it and I truly appreciate all of your kind reviews.**

He hates this feeling, the feeling of defeat after coming so close. Granted, being second in the nation is nothing to be ashamed of, but he'd be lying if he said he was looking forward to another year of Jesse gloating on Facebook every chance he gets, he knows he should just defriend him already. At least New Directions came in third this year, four places up from last year, and it was nice seeing Mr. Schuester again, and okay, he'll be honest, seeing Jesse alive and well after everything that happened didn't exactly suck, still, he wanted to win. As the victors, teachers and families gush about their performances and trophies, Finn waits for Rachel and consoles his students.

"You'll get 'em next year," Finn says, clapping Dennis on the back as he forces a weak smile.

"I still think we were better," Dennis says. "But second place isn't so bad I guess. And if anything at least I finally got to see Hollywood."

"You guys did an amazing job, you gave it everything you had and that's what matters," Finn reassures him.

"Anyway," Dennis starts, "Me and Nanette wanted to get some pizza before we go back to our hotel rooms, is that okay?"

"You and Nanette huh?" Finn says, raising his eyebrows suggestively.

"It's not a big deal, she's just sort of cool I guess." Dennis says, shrugging.

"Curfew's at ten," Finn says smiling warmly as he sends Dennis on his way.

He knows he has to face him sooner or later, and now that all of his students have gone and Rachel hasn't arrived yet he has to bite the bullet and congratulate Jesse, so he takes a deep breath and crosses the room to face his rival.

"Congratulations Jesse," Finn says as sincerely as he can.

"Thank you," Jesse responds. "And I have to say, I respect the job your kids did out there Finn, The Who was an inspired choice."

"Thanks," Finn says, knitting his brow a little in confusion. "And um, your David Bowie setlist was amazing." He hates to fluff his ego anymore, but he cant lie, Jesse really does have a gift for coaxing incredible performances out of his students.

"It was wasn't it?" Jesse says proudly. "It's just nice to see that the governing board is more of a meritocracy this year."

"I looked that word up the last time you used it Jesse," Finn says, rolling his eyes.

"I'm just saying, even you have to admit that we're the superior show choir. We have a trophy to prove it."

"I don't know, you seem happy enough with yourself for the both of us," Finn replies.

"Well of course but-

"Finn! Finn!" He turns his head at the sound of Rachel's voice and a smile reaches his lips at the sight of her and his two little ones at her side, as always just seeing their faces can turn his whole night around. "Oh my god they were amazing," She says, throwing her arms around him. "You should be so proud of them."

"I am," Finn says, and he leans in to kiss his wife.

"Hello Jesse," Rachel says, facing her old flame as she breaks the kiss. "Congratulations on your win, they were wonderful, really."

"That means a lot coming from one of Broadways fastest rising stars," Jesse says.

"I don't know about that," Rachel says bashfully. "I've only starred in one play."

"The first of many I'm sure," Jesse replies.

"You're Jesse right?" Sally says, tugging on Jesse's pants leg to get his attention.

"Why yes I am sweetheart," Jesse says, looking down at the tiny six year old. "I see you're familiar with my work."

"My daddy says you're a prick," Sally replies, and Jesse's face falls as Finn tries to stifle his laughter.

"Sally you don't use that word," Rachel scolds. "Thanks a lot Finn."

"I'm sorry, she wasn't supposed to hear that," Finn says to both Rachel and Jesse.

"It's quite alright," Jesse says in good humor. "I'm sure once my little Jessica learns how to speak she'll be repeating all of the things I've said about you in passing," Of course Jesse would name his daughter after himself.

"Mom, what's a prick?" Sally says.

"I think it means penis," Jack says, trying and failing to be discreet.

"Okay, kids, how about we take a little trip to the concession stand, what do you say?" Rachel says frantically before things can get worse.

"Yeah, I want gummy bears!" Jack says excitedly.

"Honey, I'll see you back at the hotel okay?" Rachel says kissing him again before Jack and Sally drag her out of the room. "It was wonderful seeing you again Jesse."

"You too Rachel," Jesse replies. "All kidding aside," Jesse says, turning his attention back to Finn once Rachel leaves. "You should be extremely proud Finn," and at that he extends his hand for Finn to shake and Finn does so graciously.

"Anyway, I'd love to stay and chat but I have an early flight to catch, but make sure to keep a lookout for my Facebook status update tomorrow," Jesse continues, and with that he leaves, and all Finn can do is smile a little and Shake his head.

"Finn Hudson?"

He recognizes the voice behind him, but only vaguely, he really had no idea she would show up, and he has to wonder why if not to see Rachel.

"Shelby?" he says, before he turns to confirm it, and indeed it's her, Rachel's mother, the technical grandmother of his children standing right there. "Oh my god I can't believe you came," he says, wrapping her in an awkward hug, he never quite knew what his relationship with Shelby was, sort of mother in law? Either way they weren't exactly close, but seeing her here is a pleasant if confusing surprise.

"Rachel just-

"Yes I talked to Rachel before the show, we're going out for brunch tomorrow before you fly home," Shelby explains.

"Did you come all the way here just to see the show?" Finn says.

"No actually, I live here now," Shelby says. I took a job teaching at UCLA five years back. I heard Nationals were in Hollywood this year and your students would be performing, so naturally I had to come."

"Well, thank you for your support," Finn says.

"You're very welcome," Shelby says. "But that's not the only reason I came, you see I'm moving back to New York in the fall, I was offered a Job at Tisch and I couldn't pass it up."

"Really? That's amazing," Finn says, "Congratulations."

"Thank you," Shelby replies. "I'll miss California but New York was always a better fit for us."

_Us,_ he thinks to himself and the word his breath catches a little in his throat and moreso when she appears by her mother's side. His daughter who wasn't, the one he still thinks about from time to time.

"Beth," he says in almost a whisper.

"Hi Mr. Hudson," the blonde girl says, reaching out to shake his hand. "Your choir was really good. I can't wait to join next year."

"Wait," he says after a couple of silent moments. "You're going to LaGuardia next year?"

"I think I can definitely shake things up around there," Beth says, not entirely jokingly.

"I wanted Beth to see what she would be up to next year," Shelby says.

"I have to say I can totally see myself rocking those sequins," she says. He smiles, she's the same.

"So, are you any good?" Finn says, trying to remain casual, even if it's hard with the memory of the alternate universe still so fresh in his mind.

"Are you kidding?" Beth says, pointing sideways to Shelby "This one had me in vocal classes before I could sit up on my own. I pretty much rock."

"Well I can't wait to see what you can do," Finn says.

"And I know it's weird since I'm like technically your sister in law or something," she says, clearly aware of Shelby's complicated history with Rachel. "But I promise I won't let that get in the way of anything if you don't."

"I wouldn't dream of it," Finn says, and the more he thinks about it the more he starts to feel a bit of excitement at the prospect of her being in his class, even if it does all seem too crazy to be true, he's known for awhile now that nothing was too crazy to be true.

"Well Finn, I'll let you get back to your family," Shelby says, giving his arm a gentle squeeze. "Congratulations."

"Thanks," he says quietly as he waves goodbye to them.

* * *

><p>He walks with Rachel down the walk of fame and she grasps his arm as she takes in the sights. "I have to say Finn, I may be a New York girl through and through but I'll always have a deep appreciation for Hollywood and all it represents. I mean think of all the greats who've walked this sidewalk."<p>

"Maybe you'll have a star one of these days," He says.

"You never know," she says. "I mean Alan Rickman, didn't appear in his first movie until he was 42 and he has one."

"See, you're ahead of the game," Finn says encouragingly.

"That's what I love about you, when you're with me I feel like anything is possible," She says, squeezing his arm. "But as long as I have you and the kids I feel like I've already conquered the world you know?"

He smiles warmly down at her, loving her so much, more than he can possibly fathom. "But you know, that shining review in the New York Times doesn't hurt either," she adds, getting a chuckle out of him.

"You're the best thing that's ever happened to me, do you know that?" Finn says, and he stops on Bob Hope's star to give his wife a kiss.

"Do you think the kids are okay?" she says, breaking their embrace.

"Your dads are back at the hotel with them, they're fine, they're probably asleep anyway," Finn says.

"Have you met our kids?" Rachel says sarcastically.

"Okay so they're probably not asleep, but they're fine, trust me."

"Okay, I'm sure you're right," she says and they continue to walk.

"So, you and Shelby tomorrow huh?" Finn says.

"Oh god, Finn, I'm sorry I didn't tell you, I just didn't want you to worry. But I'm fine with seeing Shelby, really, we got past our issues a long time ago."

"Yeah I know," Finn says. "I was just wondering about Beth."

"What about Beth?"

"Well, she's going to be in my glee club next year."

"Really? That's great Finn, I hear she's wonderful, I'm sure she'll make a stunning addition."

"And you're okay with that?"

"For the last time Finn, yes. Beth couldn't ask for a better teacher."

"Okay, just making sure."

"I wonder about Beth myself sometimes honestly, I wonder if she knows who her mother turned out to be, you know her biological one."

"I don't think so, if I adopted a kid who's real mother turned out to be a celebrity I'd take it to my grave, imagine the resentment."

"If Jack and Sally had to choose between you and Tom Hanks I'm sure they'd choose you Finn," Rachel says reassuringly.

"Really, because if I were them I'd choose Tom Hanks," he jokes, causing Rachel to shove him playfully.

They continue to walk, enjoying the warm California night air and the sounds of the traffic and making mental lists of all the ways that LA is different from New York. And after awhile they stop again, coming across a very pretty, very familiar face from their past.

"What about you?" Rachel says as she looks at the movie poster outside Mann's Chinese Theatre, the one with Quinn's face emblazoned on it. "You probably could have married Quinn Fabray if you wanted to, imagine it, married to America's sweetheart, how different your life would be."

He thinks about that for a moment. He never told Rachel about the alternate reality, not so much because he didn't think she would believe him, but more because he never wanted to her to know that he ever had any doubts about them, the very thought is ridiculous to him now. And outside of the occasional dream he has yet to see black suit again, for the first time in his life he knows that things are exactly how they're meant to be, and he doesn't want Rachel to know that any part of him used to think otherwise.

"Surely you must have thought about it," Rachel says, urging him on.

"I'd be lying if I said I hadn't," Finn replies.

"So," she says a bit warily. "What did you think?"

At that he pulls her close and kisses her forehead, needing the closeness.

"Rachel," he says softly. "I'd choose you every time."

**That's all folks!**


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